Apocalypse Later

OK, I'm really glad Obama got elected, but in my heart of hearts, I think it's too late. The accelerating polarization of wealth happening all over the world is unstoppable. I absolutely believe it will continue and eventually, the misery index for the have-nots will rise exponentially, just as will the number of have-nots. Eventually, the have-nots will threaten the haves - this is not new or unexpected. It has happened over and over again for the last 4 thousand years or so. The main difference now is the ability of the haves to kill large numbers of have-nots. When it happens, I don't think it will be in the thousands, I think it will be in the millions or even billions. I believe this will happen. I just don't know when. I think it will happen in my lifetime and I'm almost certain it will happen in my children's life times. To them, I can only say, "I'm sorry."

A routine day in Cairo

I've been in Egypt for two weeks now and I'm still trying to get over jet lag and a sprained knee. I've seen some of the sights, but my knee limits me quite a bit.
Cairo is an incredible city - 20 million people, some living in hovels in cemeteries thousands of years old, some living in royal splendor. The city is choked with dust and pollution, so I'm glad I'm only here for 6 months.
I'm a team chief for a mobile training team sent here to teach English at the Ministry of Defense Language Institute. While my two teachers are teaching the students, I'm going to try to do a teacher training session every two weeks. The first will be on classroom management, with a focus on who's or what's in control, and what the teacher can do to manipulate control % to maximize learning. Fun, huh?
It's late, but I guess that's it for now. I'll comment on deeper thoughts another day.

My hope for the Democratic Primary

So far in the Democratic Primary, I've been swayed and inspired by Barack Obama. He's my candidate now. But in the process, I've gained a new respect for Hillary Clinton. I would be proud to support either of them as my president. The system has worked well for us so far. We have two historic candidates whom we like, trust, and admire. I couldn't hope for much more, except this: PLEASE, PLEASE don't screw this up. Don't get so petty, so nasty, so mean, that by the time we get to the convention, we don't like either of you. Don't make an amazing event such as electing the first black or female president like biting into a turd sandwich. Let us go on liking and respecting you both. Let us have both of you lead us into a new post-Bush era. We've had 7 years plus of hate, division, mean-spirited vitriol. Don't give us more. Please. Is this really too much to ask?

Down to three

Well, we're down to three candidates, more or less.
McCain is the Republican candidate, no matter what "I can still spit" Huckabee says. I'm not sure why he's still in the race, unless he has dreams of being vice president. Ironically, the longer he stays, the more pissed off McCain gets, meaning he lessens his chances every day.
McCain himself has sold out to some group who call themselves "true conservatives." He's actually sold out to the very same people who put Bush in power. Even though he's not saying he backs Bush, he backs every single Bush policy - more war, more tax cuts, more deficits, more policies biased toward making rich people richer and shrinking the middle class. He even voted against banning waterboarding and other forms of torture. This was his statement to "conservatives" - that he will sell his soul for them and the nomination, he will compromise even something that used to be so important to him. John McCain, a pilot, a war hero, a former POW, has sold every shred of honor he had left. He's even stooped so low as to praise Karl Rove, the man who smeared his character so long ago in South Carolina in 2000. But the worst thing of all is that he represents the status quo. These pseudoconservatives will do anything to prolong their feeding at the trough. If McCain is elected, the rich will frantically continue to accumulate wealth because they know eventually, this economy based on individual and national debt will have to collapse. They think they will hoard enough to ride it out, but most of us will face the hard times of another depression. We almost collapsed during the mortgage crisis, but Bush and the Democratic Congress have managed to buy the country a little more time. Unfortunately, they only made superficial, short-term changes that don't change the fundamental basis of the economic policies that are leading us lemmings over the cliff. The funny thing is, we are lemmings. A lot of people listen to McCain, thinking an old-time Republican will get us out of the mess Bush and the neocons have gotten us into, even though McCain has sold out to that very group to get the nomination. God help us if he gets elected.
I like Hillary, but I hope Obama gets the nomination. I do think Hillary would do a good job if she were elected president. The only thing I don't like is that she's getting shriller and meaner as Obama gains momentum. I pray she's not selfish enough to take him down with her. I want her to run a clean campaign. If she gets the nomination, I will campaign for her. If Barack gets it, I hope she will campaign for and with him.
Why do I like Obama? Because he's not just another guy from old Washington. I think he at least has a chance of healing the bitter partisan rift in Washington and the rest of the country. He's a good man who will put the country first, above his own personal ambitions and above party loyalty. I just hope both parties will get behind him and cooperate if he's elected. If Republicans become obstructive, I hope they get wiped out as a party. If they cooperate and help to make the country a better place for all of us, then their party will get stronger. I don't think very many people trust the Republican Party anymore. Why should they? Look at the mess they've made of our country.

The "C" word

Conservatives did a good job, over decades, using a steady propaganda campaign to make "liberal" a pejorative. They were so successful that we on the left have switched to a new word - progressive. How about turning the tables? If you look at the state of the union, we live in a conservative-created world. First and foremost, conservatives can certainly be branded as hypocrites. They SAY they defend the Consitution, but for the last 7 years it has been under siege by the right. They SAY they're for small government, but the size of the federal government and its subsequent interference in our daily lives have seen exponential growth under the Republican government. They SAY they're compassionate conservatives, but for the last 7 years government has become an advocate for the rich and powerful at the expense of the the middle class and the poor. They SAY they're for limited interference in the affairs of foreign countries, but their misguided dabbling in other countries, including one war that never should have started and the two poorly managed wars, have created the strongest anti-American sentiment in history. They SAY they are the party of fiscal responsibility, yet the "conservative" president is leaving us 9 TRILLION dollars in debt. We have a mean spirited and divided country, low on morale and fearing the future. This is the Bush legacy, but it's also the legacy of the Republican Party and of conservatives in general. Conservatives can't be expected to fix this - they created it. While the current crop of Repulican candidates are distancing themselves from Bush, they are not distancing themselves from his policies. They all support the war, in varying degrees and they all repeat the mantra of "tax cuts, tax cuts, tax cuts." They are all conservative hypocrites who represent one group and one group only - rich white guys. That's the group that thrived under Bush, and all the "conservative" candidates will make sure that continues.

The Surge President and His Legacy

So Bush "surged" Iraq and got a relative period of calm. It apparently was enough to make us forget that our soldiers are still dying there and that we're still pouring one to two billion dollars per week into that black hole of a war. It's apparently enough for us to put the war on the back burner, and that's a shame. I happen to think that a country at war should have no higher priority than to finish or end that war. Everything else should be a lower priority. What's ironic is that this surge, while it may have reduced violence, has done nothing to improve the infrastructure of Iraq. It has not resulted in progress for the Iraqi "government." The only thing it's done is give Bush the chance to maintain status quo until he leaves office. If he can just surge till January, he will leave a very expensive, relative calm to his successor. If things get worse, it will be the next president's fault. And no matter what the next president does to improve the situation in Iraq, if it's successful, Bush will take credit. So the surge, as far as he's concerned, is the biggest success of his presidency. It has worked so well that he's going to "surge" Afghanistan next. 3,300 marines will not actually be enough to make up the troop shortage there caused by decreased commitment of will and troops by his "coalition of the willing." But he may get the temporary lull in Afghanistan that he got in Iraq that will allow him to say things were getting better when he left office and put him in the same position - blame his successor for subsequent failures, but take credit for future success.
He's taking his lessons from the battlefields of Iraq and Afghanistan and applying them here at home. He now wants to "surge" our economy. We have 9 trillion dollars of debt directly attributable to the Republican economy. I don't call it the Bush economy because this is the one thing Republicans have always agreed with him on. Cut taxes, even if it means we go broke. In this case, the surge is necessary because, while recessions are part of the normal economic cycle, since this economy was fueled by individual and national debt, few people have the savings we usually have to get us through hard times. Since almost no one has a personal safety net (Americans are debtors, not savers), the government needs to provide it. What I don't get is that no one is pointing out that this is a Republican economy and will be a Republican recession. Once the nominee is decided, I hope he or she points this out. Republicans are all still crying "Tax cuts! Tax cuts!" They support the Bush economic philosophy and even say he didn't go far enough. The last successful fiscal conservative was...Bill Clinton! It took a Democrat to fix the Reagan/Bush Sr. economic mess, and only a Democrat will do what's necessary to fix the looming Bush Jr. economic disaster.
It's not all the Republicans' fault. We Americans have suspended our common sense. We know and have always known that debt is a bad thing. On the individual level, some debt is unavoidable. We need mortgages to finance our homes. Car loans are the only way to get reliable transportation for most of us. But spending beyond our means with accounts at department stores and maxed out credit cards is just STUPID. It's bad for families. It's bad for the economy in the long run, since spending dependent on debt is UNSUSTAINABLE. This is where common sense has been suspended on the individual level. We have let economic "experts" hornswoggle us and convince us that this common sense principle doesn't apply to the government. We're so rich that, as Dick Cheney said, "Deficits don't matter." Well, quit listening to these idiots. The same principle applies - a certain amount of debt is reasonable and sustainable. We need deficit spending in time of war or during recessions, but when the economy is good, we should use that as an opportunity to pay down the debt. This is smart, this is reasonable, this is common sense. The Republicans have used this economic boom fueled by debt, not to pay down the national debt, but to increase it. Unfortunately, Bush is all too willing to use a "surge" rebate to make us feel better in the short term, to give us a little breathing room until he's out of office, at which time he can blame his successor for failures and take credit for any improvements. And people say he's stupid.

Guilty pang of elation

Yesterday I took my oldest son to register and pay for another semester at the local community college. He had applied to go to University of Houston, but his application didn't get considered because of a snafu in the admissions office. Thus, one more semester at home. On one level, I was sorry for him - he so wanted to go back to Houston to be close to his girlfriend, who attends Rice University. Still, when I dropped him off at San Antonio College, I had this brief moment of elation. I smiled at the realization that we would have our son home for one more semester. In a very selfish way, I admit that I am glad.

Obama and Hope

The more I think about the Iowa caucus, the more encouraged I am. That's important for a Texas Democrat. The concept of hope took seed during the last elections. Lots of people don't know it, but two of the seats picked up by the Dems were in Texas. But I watched the national political developements with dismay - would the Democratic Party really choose Hillary Clinton to be our candidate? I like Edwards the best, but Obama is a close second. Now it's beginning to look like Democrats nationwide are thinking the same thing. Time for Democrats to be liberals. Yeah, haul out the "L" word! Make it a party thing - the whole mess in Iraq, the mortgage crisis, inflation and expensive oil, these are all problems created by or exacerbated by Bush with the support of Republican congressmen. We should be able to win with some sort of "don't reward failure" campaign, or, with a more positive spin, "All we are saying, Is give Dems a chance." Then we have to do something unprecedented in recent politics - demonstrate competence. Bring down the national debt, repair our reputation abroad, use our tax dollars responsibly, GET US OUT OF IRAQ, mend the polarization here, reduce the size of our bloated government, help us pay for college and health care. Make this a better country for everyone to live in, instead of pandering to the wealthy and powerful. We won't have to achieve all these goals at once, but we should make progress on all of them. Because the first party to take the White House and Congress, then demonstrate basic competence, will control the country for decades.

The Iowa Caucus

OK, here's my read on the Iowa caucus results: best news - we may not have to settle for Hillary after all; #2 - young voters turned out in strength!!; #3 - Huckabee won in Iowa, but he's unelectable. He's going to polarize Republicans because he's the only one evangelicals can vote for AND he's the one the rest of the party can't vote for; #4 - Romney may not recover, which means McCain is going to be the choice of party die-hards.
So IF (and that's a big IF) the general election comes down to Obama vs. McCain, Obama wins in a landslide. He will also wipe out Huckabee. In other words, I'm beginning to feel something I haven't felt in a long time...HOPE! But I take nothing for granted. If Americans are stupid enough to re-elect Bush, they're dumb enough to put a Republican back in the White House. Young voters, if they get off their butts and vote, will be the best guarantee against that.
What the heck - New Hampshire predictions - I think McCain will win NH, Romney second, and no one else will do much of anything. I think Obama will win for the Dems, with Hillary 2nd and Edwards third.
What to watch for - Hillary has to make some campaign changes. It will be interesting to see what she comes up with. I think she's been using Bill so much that people are getting the feeling she thinks we should vote for her because she's married to him. That won't wash. She's also gotten into the habit of giving politician's answers to every question. She has to start talking to us, even if it means she makes mistakes. That's what Obama, Edwards, and Huckabee do, and it's paying dividends for all of them. Time to get real, Hillary.
I still hope Edwards wins, but I like Obama almost as much. On the Republican side, I hope Huckabee gets the nomination because he's the least electable of all the unelectable Republicans. It's been an interesting political process to watch.

Weighing 2007

2007 was mostly a good year. I guess the biggest event for me personally was the successful teaching assignment in Tajikistan. I did a good job, had a great time seeing an exotic country, and made a few extra bucks. I also managed to survive a full year in the Instructor Development Branch (basically, I now teach teachers). But my drive to write basically just shut down. I'm not too worried, but I am a little embarrassed. Physically, my head and back are better, but my right hand is damaged and painful. I lost, then regained weight, ending up pretty much where I started at the beginning of the year.
My wife had a great year. She had an exhibit, sold more art than ever, had a very successful tour guide stint in November/December, helped the boys do well in school, and stayed her usual healthy self.
As a family, we've done really well. We picked up two dogs! Toma is a Corgi mix and a good fit into our family. Vera rescued him while I was in Tajikistan. I don't really like dogs, but have to admit I like Muttchik (my name for him). Then later this year Vera rescued Maia, a Doberman mix. She's not a good match for the family, but we couldn't abandon her to the streets. She stays in the backyard during the day, then sleeps in the garage at night. The boys had an awesome year. Misha is now an honor student and ready to give a 4-year school a try. He finished 4 courses the second semester, which will give him a lot of confidence when he transfers. Gabriel finished with 2 A's and will take German in January. He only wanted one course so he could work on archery a little more. Gerry got his black belt in Tae Kwan Do, and got his green belt in judo. He works hard on school, too, and has said he wants to be a writer.
So what do we want for 2008? I need to write. I need to lose some weight. I MAY start school again in the fall. If I don't go to school, I'll probably start putting in for overseas assignments that look good. I'd really like to go to Mongolia or eastern Europe or back to central Asia somewhere.
It looks like Misha will go to University of Houston in the fall. He needs to succeed.
Gabriel can take it easy, but should still finish with another A. He'll take the PSAT this fall, then the SAT's later. He seems to be content with the idea of finishing more courses at SAC, then finding a good computer graphic arts program. Gerry just needs to keep on keepin' on. He grew a lot this year, so he's no longer a little kid.
Financially, we're still struggling. We haven't slipped into debt yet, but paying for college next year might push us into it. An overseas assignment would take care of that, though. I guess mostly I'm entering 2008 fairly uncertain about what I'll be doing and about prospects for my family. My biggest goal is getting Misha through college. It will be a major family accomplishment when he walks across the stage and receives his Bachelor of Science degree. But that's 2 or 3 years away, and I'm not used to being in limbo for that long. Oh, well, such is life.

Travels

I've been blessed with the opportunity to travel all my life. Within the US, I've been to CA, TX, NM, AZ, AR, LA, TN, Nebraska, MO, OK, KS, CO, NV, IA, NY, MA, NH, NC, and UT. I took a couple of short trips to Canada and Mexico, too. I've actually lived in Los Angeles and Monterey in California, in Waco, Houston, and San Antonio here in Texas, and in Clovis/Portales in New Mexico.
I lived in Japan for 5 years, Germany for 10, and spent 4-6 months in Taiwan, Latvia, and Tajikistan. I've been to Iraq twice, plus Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and Qatar. Those trips were related to Desert Storm and the current Gulf War.
I made the most of my 10 years in Germany. While stationed there with the Army as a Russian linguist, I visited the Netherlands (my wife's home country), France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Austria, Turkey, Switzerland, Greece, the Czech Republic, and England. I've traveled extensively within the countries of France, Germany, the Netherlands and Italy. It was something I always dreamed of, seeing the world. And I never wanted to see it on one of those "10 cities in 9 days" tours. I wanted to go places on my own, take my time, meet people and experience the cultures. All those trips have contributed to my character and personality. One thing I've learned is that the US has no business asserting its moral and cultural superiority. There are wonderful places in the world where people don't dream of coming to America. They even find the notion laughable.
Where do we get this arrogance? It puts blinders on us - we don't see that we're a country of murders, child and spouse abuse, drugs, stupid use of nonrenewable energy resources, poverty, no health insurance, home foreclosures, a shrinking middle class - I could go on, but you get my point. We're a mess - an empire in decline. We could do something to stop this decline, but our arrogance keeps us from even seeing it. I think we'll pay a high price, and I think we'll pay it soon.

Getting Old

I'm 58. I probably could manage aging better, but I'm not upset about getting older. I've made some concessions. I know I need to exercise more, but I just feel too tired at the end of the day when I get home from work. The main result is that, in the 13 years since I retired from the Army, I've added 20 pounds. I've leveled off at 190 and don't seem to go up or down more than 5 pounds, no matter what I do. That 20 pounds means I'm not obese, but I am overweight. I haven't felt any negative consequences except the obvious blow to my ego and a lack of stamina. All the weight is in one place - my gut. My legs, arms, butt...all normal. I just have this great belly hanging in front of me. I could get rid of it; I should get rid of it. But I don't.
I'm beat up. That's unavoidable after 22 years in the military. I have a bad back, bad neck, bad hips, bad hearing and weakening eyesight. I still function pretty well, though.
Since I got out of the Army, I've added some age-related limitations. I broke a wrist in Iraq. It didn't hurt that much, so I assumed it was a sprain. Now it's healed over and arthritis has set in. I have limited movement and residual pain now in my right wrist. I take pain medication for it every other day or so. It's really not that bad. In Tajikistan, I tore a ligament in my right thumb (what is it about my right hand?), so I can't really put any pressure on my thumb - I have trouble opening car doors and peanut butter jars. For both the wrist and the thumb, I have a brace I wear - all it really does is support my hand and wrist so I don't hurt myself by trying to do something reflexively that I can't do anymore.
With all these limitations, I'm still pretty functional. I can teach. I can travel. That lets me earn a living and support my family. I can still write. And I don't have any mental impairment - that's my greatest fear. I keep my brain active by writing, reading, doing puzzles. Alzheimer's doesn't run in my family at all, so I guess I shouldn't worry.
I got married and had kids late in life, so I plan on working until I'm 67. I'll still have one son in college, but my house will be paid off and I think the next car we buy (another Prius) will also be paid off by then. I'll have two sons grown up and out of college. I count on them taking care of their mother. She'll have social security, but she's 12 years younger than I am. She'll have the house and my 401k, so I think she'll be ok.
My biggest goal is to see my grandkids. I should be able to do that, God willing. All in all, I think I'm fine and have a lot to look forward to.

No Business Like Show Business

I was Frank Butler in "Annie Get Your Gun" in 1968 at La Porte High School. I had been one of the boyfriends in "The Boyfriend" the year before that and played the villain in a summer production of "Dirty Work at the Crossroads" even before that. I never actually aspired to be a professional actor, but theater has shaped my life in many ways. I continued to participate in theater in college until I was pressured out by the theater majors, who felt I was stealing parts from them. Theater was put on hold for a long time, until about 22 years ago, when I took a part in "The Snow Queen," a Russian play in which I played the prince. As it turns out, the woman who played my princess is now my wife of 20 years. But I used my drama training in my other careers. I was a platoon sergeant in the Army and learned that occasionally dramatic emphasis could be used to good effect. I was able to intimidate soldiers who were much larger than I was. Then I got to help an actor who had to play an NCO in Neil Simon's play about basic training - he later won an award for his portrayal. Now I'm a teacher, and use acting skills to enhance my ability to teach English. And I've written a very depressing play that no one is interested in doing.

So now some of us from the '68 cast are going down to see the show. It should be fun, and I hope we can talk about how theater has influenced our lives.

Christmas Day

I've worked my whole life, it seems, to define myself spiritually. I'm pretty happy with where I am, so here goes. My first belief is that there is a God. Second, there are many paths to God. Third, Christ is my path to God. It's that simple, but those three beliefs still create conflict with others. So many Christians point out that Christ is the ONLY path to God. I just don't accept that. I refuse to believe that Jesus or God would condemn to hell all human beings who hadn't accepted Christ as their personal saviour. I fully expect to see Mormans, Muslims, Buddhists, and, yes, atheists in heaven. That's not my main religious conflict these days. I get so angry when "Christian" leaders tell me directly or imply how I should vote. I don't like abortion. I think it's a horrible choice for a woman to make, on so many different levels. But as long as we have a society so stacked against a woman who chooses to have a child under difficult circumstances, I will not support groups who take that choice away from women. And almost universally, these "Christian" leaders want me to vote for a pro-war, pro-greed Republican politician. I will not. I want a more competent, kinder government, and I will vote for that. We have ample evidence now that the most evangelical, "Jesusy" candidate isn't necessarily the best person to lead the country. There are results to my beliefs. First, I will give to no church or charity affiliated with a religious organization until ALL churches get out of politics. It has saved me quite a bit of money.
Megachurches horrify me. If the whip-swinging, angry Jesus were here, he would drive people out of these corporate organizations more dedicated to power and wealth than Christian principles. This I believe. There is a new group of Christians who do "home church." They go from one person's house to another for Sunday services. This strikes me as a return to basic, personal Christianity as practiced and encouraged by Christ himself.
So how do I feel this Christmas Day? I feel a need to rededicate myself to Christian principles. I will absolutely say a prayer for peace. I'll pray that people can heal this hatred that has been generated in our country. We need to find a way to care for each other and to help each other have a better life. And I will pray for faith and hope that this can happen.

No Muse

I haven't written in months. Not my blog, not a short story, not a play, not a novel, not an op-ed piece. My wife thinks something is wrong. I guess there is. I have this feeling that something is about to happen - something big, something life-changing - and that it's not worth it to write before the big event because everything written before it will seem trivial and meaningless. Of course, the smart thing to do would be to write about that, which is essentially what I'm doing here.
What can it be? Maybe a new depression. Even the worst doomsayers believe we're going to have a recession in 2008. I think it will be worse. I think people will lose their homes and jobs in much greater numbers than anticipated. The housing crunch is already happening and a similar credit card crunch is looming. When consumers in our consumer economy finally max out their credit lines, they will have to stop buying. I think 2008 will finally see Chrysler go belly up. Some restaurants and theme parks (the most obvious receivers of discretionary spending) will die. Ford and GM will survive, but close more plants. In the meantime, gas and groceries will continue to cost more, at a time when a lot of Americans have no wiggle room in their monthly budgets. The sinking value of the dollar will make our clothes and cars and computers and most other basics that are made overseas cost more and more. I can't help it - I think there's a perfect storm brewing, and the government will be in no position to help. W is leaving us with more than 9 trillion dollars in debt! He's also leaving us a war that sucks up any governmental discretionary spending. I think it will be so bad that people will go back to growing their own vegetable gardens. Some will live in houses without electricity.
I do believe this could happen in 2008, but may wait a couple more years.
One of my writing projects is about what happens after the fall. I guess that's what I should work on.

Kucinich and Tajikistan

Oh, man, just too much stuff going on in my life. Today I went to a San Antonio Progressive Action Committee meeting. I went as a Veterans for Peace representative. 4 members of the Houston chapter came, and two members of the Military Families Speak Out organization were also there. There were at least three major (well, for San Antonio, anyway) liberal groups meeting and discussing business. I was glad to meet the MFSO reps, since I'll be having brunch with Nancy Lessin, one of the founders of the group, tomorrow. I'm broke, but they gave me a tee shirt to wear at the brunch. Very nice. Anyway, today's keynote speaker was Dennis Kucinich. I will definitely vote for him in the Dem primary. If we lived in a real Democracy where votes count more than dollars, he'd probably be our next president. He's a really good speaker. He also brought his new campaign 2006 wife. She's very pretty and MUCH taller than him.
Anyway, I have a little more than a month before I leave for a six-month teaching assignment in Tajikistan. I'm really excited about going. I mean, how many people do you know who've been to Tajikistan. As it turns out, I know 4. I'll make a little extra money, which will help pay down our bills. I'm hoping we can get out of debt this year. Our Prius will be paid off next month, and then we can focus on other bills.
I'm not quite so angry lately, but I'll probably go back to that if the Dems don't hold Congress or don't win the presidency next year. I really like Kucinich and Edwards. Robertson would be a good VP. Oh, well...six months is a pretty long time. Some people say the "real" candidates will already be determined by the time I get back.

Anti-War Speech at UT Pan Am

So I've been invited to speak at University of Texas - Pan America as a representative of Veterans for Peace and Military Families Speak Out. It's not the first time I've done this. While I was in Japan, I spoke twice in Tokyo and once each in Nagoya, Hiroshima, and Osaka. The last time was at a huge peace rally in Tokyo - my audience was 20,000! If it hadn't been raining so hard, we would have had over 100,000. This is only my third time to speak in Texas. I participated in a panel discussion at UT San Antonio. That was pretty good. Then on Memorial Day here in San Antonio, I gave a short speech, "No one wins a war," at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial downtown.
I've worked hard to prepare for this. I've read several books, learned a little more about the Rio Grande Valley and the UT Pan Am campus. I refreshed my memory on the intelligence community (they want me to talk about that, too).
The thing I had to think about most is what they might want to hear and what I want to tell them. They aren't necessarily the same thing. Still, I'll have a sympathetic audience - we all want this war to end.
I'm also going to speak only from an outline instead of from a prepared text. That's a departure for me, but a necessary one. I need to be more professional in my speaking skills. Up till now, I've simply written powerful messages, then read them to my audience. Not any more.
Well, I have a little more research to do. Wish me luck!

War, Antiwar, and right-wing idiots

So there are these people (I refrain from calling them idiots only because I know it's more like they have blinders on) from my high school who really, honestly believe that we should invade Iran and that we have the military capability to do so. They've even pulled out freakin' road maps to make their case. See, I hate this war. Well, to be honest, I now oppose war in all its forms for any reason. But I'm a retired US Army NCO. Desert Storm was my epiphany - America loves war, uses soldiers to achieve imperial objectives, and it only takes one incompetent president to make the most powerful military machine in history a world threat. Anyway, to the particulars of Iran. These things are now obvious: the US Army and Marines are currently strained to the breaking point while fighting two wars simultaneously. The only reason we keep enough soldiers to fight these wars is that we bribe them with insane amounts of money. We pay 5K, 10K or sometimes more to get people to come in, then pay bonuses up to 50K to keep them in. If we start a third war, how much will we have to pay to exhausted soldiers? We also know that Iran is larger and has a bigger population, so a war with Iran would essentially double (conservatively) the size of the conflicts we're fighting. The US economy is also strained to the breaking point paying for the current wars. Even if I were coldblooded enough to say our military could handle the new war, I would say the US simply can't afford it. Even W is now calling for a balanced budget (translation: "OK, maybe I HAVE pushed the deficit spending thing a bit too far."). Finally, anyone we send into Iran will die. It will be the most embarrassing, tragic loss for the US military in its history. Vietnam will look like a raging success in comparison. And yet, the Bush administration continues to use inflammatory language towards Iran, almost begging them to start something. This is playground bully diplomacy, but in this case, it's the bully who just isn't ready for the fight.

Veterans Day

Veterans Day for a Platoon Sergeant
November 10, 2006 at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial
San Antonio, Texas

I retired from the Army twelve years ago. Even though I was a platoon sergeant for less than year, it was still the defining moment of my 22-year military career. During that short period, I took a platoon of interrogators to the first Gulf War. Before we left Germany, I reminded my platoon that we were well trained to accomplish our mission and to defend ourselves. Their job was the mission. My job was to bring them all back in one piece. As a direct support unit, we were at times close to the battles, but we never shot at anyone and no one shot at us. Vehicle accidents and mine fields were our biggest threat. A sister platoon lost two soldiers who violated safety regulations and smashed a hummer into a concrete culvert. My soldiers all knew when they got into a vehicle, they couldn’t leave until they looked me in the eye and recited the safety rules they had to follow. Then they had to look every passenger in the eye, say their names and the names of their spouses and children. They drove away with a fresh reminder of the awesome responsibility they bore. It may not seem much like war, but the modern Army deploys about seven support personnel for every front-line fighter, so my “combat” experience is more common than that of guys who actually dodge and throw bullets.
Twelve year after leaving the Army, I still see the world through a platoon sergeant’s eyes. My family is my most important platoon. The first time my oldest son got into the car to drive the whole family outing, I used the same “look me in the eyes” briefing I’d used in Desert Storm. Then he looked at his mother and each of his brothers in turn. He drove away with me riding shotgun and know the awesome responsibility of having not just a steering wheel in his hands, but our lives.
Since retirement, I’ve been teaching English as a second language to professional adults. Every class is a new platoon. There are a lot of similarities. We have a mission, but the students have to accomplish it. I help them and guide them, and sometimes I have to kick them in the butt, but I very rarely lose a student. We all make it. I can’t choose who will be in my classes, anymore than I could choose who would be in my platoon. They’re all mine, with all their strengths and weaknesses, joys and sorrows. I never have a problem with playing favorites – the highest status my soldiers could achieve was to be a member of my platoon. I had to work harder for some, not so hard for others. See, as platoon sergeant, I had to help every individual succeed. The better they performed, the better my platoon became. It’s the same with my classes.
I don’t just think about myself on Veterans Day. My father was a gunner on a B-17 during WWII. His plane was shot down over Germany and he spent the last 18 months of the war as a POW. He belonged to the Air Force and stayed until he was medically retired for arthritis. He struggled with pain, alcoholism, debt, and life until 1965, when he ended his own life with a .22 caliber bullet. The Veterans Administration ruled that his death was service related. I think they were right.
I think of my brother, Jimmy, on Veterans Day. He joined the Army and went to Vietnam. The Purple Heart and the medical discharge he got when he came back to the States didn’t seem to help him much. He led a hard life for a dozen or so years, then ended his own life after finalizing his fifth divorce.
I think of my mother on Veterans Day. When Dad left her and eight kids, she took over the family. I won’t say she was a better platoon sergeant than my father, but if the mission was to raise us and prepare us to lead successful lives, then she accomplished it.
I’ve struggled, too. I miss the Army in ways my wife can’t seem to understand. The “band of brothers” concept may seem corny, but it’s still real. I could trust my fellow soldiers – I supported them and they supported me. In my experience, the civilian world doesn’t work that way. Teaching is a good second career because when I close my classroom door, it’s just me and my class – me and my new platoon.
It took a while, but I’ve changed my mind about the Army and about war. When we were in Desert Storm, I didn’t think about the meaning of it all until the war was over. We had to sit in canvas tents in the desert in 120 degree heat for over 2 months until it was our turn to go home. That’s when I started to question why we were there. Even then, we all knew the Army would be going back. I believed one thing – we were never there just for the noble cause of liberating Kuwait. I was certain of this truth: no oil, no war. That’s the way I saw it. I wondered why no one wanted to say it or admit it. I mean, was the true purpose of the war like Voldemort, something we knew was there but was too horrible to say out loud? That was an epiphany for me. This wasn’t just true about Desert Storm; it was true about all wars.
I followed that line of thinking to its logical conclusion. On Memorial Day of 2006, I helped establish the San Antonio chapter of Veterans for Peace. We’re small and we’re not very active, but it feels good to know I belong to a new band of brothers.
I’m writing this at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in downtown San Antonio. The statue is beautiful and sad – one wounded soldier lying unconscious on the ground, another kneeling, feeling for a pulse and looking skyward for help. An M-16 rifle lies useless in the mud. At that moment, shooting and killing are no longer part of the mission. I can’t help believing both soldiers would have been better off if they’d never picked up an M-16 in the first place.
This statue is on the corner of Jefferson and Martin. I used to wish it had been placed somewhere more peaceful. After sitting here for a couple of hours, I think it’s appropriate, though. See, everyone knows it’s there, but they’re used to it. They walk by or drive by without a glance. Twice a year, on Veterans Day and Memorial Day, events are held to “remember” vets, both living and dead. It makes us all feel like we do our part to honor our veterans. Well, I think that’s a bunch of crap. Statues don’t help vets heal. They don’t train them for jobs or feed their families. They don’t give them new legs or arms. I know Americans hate taxes, but the only way to support vets – really support them – is with money. Wake up tomorrow and say, “I’m willing to pay slightly higher taxes to pay for training programs, VA hospitals, a better GI Bill, and transition programs.” That’s the only true way to honor us. The US is not doing it now. While this war is still going on, a war that has created over 4 million new war veterans, military and VA hospitals are being closed. Despite the high percentage of Hispanic vets from the Rio Grande Valley, there is no VA hospital there. Vets are being told that the expense isn’t warranted. THE EXPENSE ISN’T WARRANTED! But someone will find money for a new statue somewhere. I don’t think those statues are for soldiers. I think they’re built to salve the public conscience.
This happens every Veterans Day. I end up angry. I guess a lot of us are, though. I do wish that anger would help us speak out more. I’m not above guilting people into doing what’s right. Since Veterans Day, San Antonio buried another homeless Vietnam vet. Our statue wasn’t much use to him.

OK, I'm pissed

I just stay so mad all the time. I'm pissed off because we let Republicans lie to us. Bush says the economy is great, and that's true for his billionaire constituents. But I got my property tax bill this month and it's scarier than anything I'll see on Halloween. For the first time, I'll have to pay it with a credit card. This great economy has me on the ropes financially. I'm cancelling magazine subscriptions just to get by! There's a little light at the end of the tunnel - I'll pay my car off in about three months. I'm pissed off because our Republican governor is telling us what a great job he's done on education, but the schools here are so bad and so unsafe, we've been homeschooling for 8 years now. So I pay sky-high taxes for schools so bad we won't use them. Yeah, that pisses me off. And it pisses me off that I live in Texas, land of the "rape-my-sister" Republicans. I call them that because Dick Cheney or W. could come to their house, rape their sister right in front of them, and they'd still vote Republican. I mean, the Republicans have already raped and pillaged our federal budget, raped and pillaged Iraq and Afghanistan (in the name of freedom, no less), raped and pillaged the Constitution, but hey, Bill Clinton got a blow job in the Oval Office, so they can never vote for a Democrat again. And I'm pissed because, for the first time, I'm teaching methodology to other teachers. I'm qualified, motivated, and really good at it, but I've got this student who's decided to be pissed off, too, so she's miserable and she's making damn sure I'm miserable, too. Talk about a turd in a punch bowl. And, secretly, I'm still a little pissed that my kid got into Rice University as a National Merit Scholar, then went down there and just plain old bombed. Lost opportunity of a lifetime on his part; lost $20 grand that I'll be paying for the next three years.
Well, I'm being paged. What the hell, that pisses me off, too.