Accomplishments at 60

When I was a senior in high school (1968), I made a list of goals. First, I wanted to graduate from college. Second, I wanted to see the world. Third, I wanted a home and family. And fourth, I wanted to make $20,000.
Let's address the last first. Adjusted for inflation, I'd have to make about $100k to make the equivalent of 20k in 1968. I did make that when I was in Japan, but I don't now. Still, I make enough to achieve the other goals.
I graduated from Eastern New Mexico University with honors in English. Since I was the first kid in my large family to accomplish this, my mother drove from Houston all the way across Texas with fresh Gulf shrimp on ice in the back and my little sister and a niece up front with her. It took me seven years, but I had no debt and never needed help from my mother to pay for my studies. Then quite a few years later, I finished my MA in Teaching Foreign Language (with distinction) at Monterey Institute of International Studies, with a Certificate to Teach English to Speakers of Other Languages thrown in. So I exceeded my educational goals by quite a bit.
I have been to 24 foreign countries, many of them for extended periods, not just on vacation, but on job assignments. The army sent me to Germany for 10 years, and my Department of Defense job sent me to Japan for 5 years. I've spent extended periods of time (a month or more) in France, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Taiwan, Latvia, Tajikistan, Germany, the Netherlands, and Egypt. I've spent more than a month in Massachusetts, California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado. I've seen more countries than I dreamed I would, but I still have some travel goals: I want to see sub-Saharan Africa while there are still wild animals; I want to see Alaska and Hawaii; I'd like to see mainland China.
As successful as I've been in other areas, I've been luckiest of all with my family. Vera has been the perfect wife for me - educated, sensitive, artistic, loving, faithful, but also strict and demanding when she needed to be. I have now spent 22 years with my soul mate, and for that I am deeply grateful. We also have three sons, all smart and talented young men with good hearts. My biggest remaining mission is to see them graduate from college. After that, I want to play with some grandchildren!
Overall, I have to be really happy with my life. Dr. Stephen Covey (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) calls this "Begin with the end in mind." Vera took his training seminar before I did, and she came back immediately from the workshop and said, "You do this!" I guess that' s true, and maybe it's the main reason I've managed to achieve my goals. That, and we've always been blessed - Someone has been watching over us.

0 to 60 - Finances

I don't know how I managed it, but I'm getting into my 60's fairly healthy financially. It wasn't actually a result of good planning, or any planning at all. But I have and will always have my military retirement of about 20K a year, plus a smaller federal retirement when I'm 65, plus Social Security, plus I think my 401k will be around 200K by then. My house will be paid off before I'm 65, so I'll have a couple of years to feed money into my wife's 401k. So far, except for the government student loans my kids have and will pay back, we've managed to pay as we went for Misha and Gabriel. I'll buy another Prius before I retire and will try to have it paid off, too. All of this is geared to an actual retirement when I'm 67 so I'll get max Social Security. So it looks like we're gonna be ok.

0 to 60 - Regrets/mistakes

I'm really happy with where I am nearly 60 years after I was born at Castle AFB in Merced, CA. But I coulda done better. So here, not in order of importance, are mistakes I made or regrets I have:
1. I shouldn't have broken up with Cathy Webb in high school. And I DEFINITELY shouldn't have done it in such a mean, immature way. The fact that we are still friends is a testament to her character.
2. I drank WAY too much alcohol from the time I joined the air force to the emergency trip to the hospital in Utrecht. It's ludicrous that it took that kind of wake-up call for me to finally understand that alcohol was killing me. If I had saved just half of what I wasted on drinking, I wouldn't be borrowing money to put my boys through college. I wouldn't mind having some of those brain cells back, either.
3. I wish I could have found a way to be more peaceful about the inevitable divorce in my first marriage. We were polar opposites and couldn't possibly have stayed together, but the only way we could figure that out was by making each other miserable for the last 5 years of our 7-year marriage. We are still friends because we realize it was nobody's fault and we both made huge mistakes.
4. I have been unnecessarily mean to quite a few people in my life. I'm truly sorry for that. It's always been a goal of mine to help other people have a more joyful life, but for some, I made life more miserable. I try to atone by helping people whenever I can.
You know what? I think that's it. I don't have that much to regret. Next up: financial standing.

0 to 60

OK, so Wednesday I turn 60. Lots of friends and family have already hit this milestone. They haven't made many comments about it, really, but that's not my nature. So this first post will be a physical inventory of sorts.
I've gotten to 60 in pretty good shape, I think. I'm still healthy enough to work and to go overseas, to support my wife and pay for college for three sons. That's the good news.
Problem #1: My gut. I have this rather large spare tire around my middle. The rest of me isn't fat at all - not my butt, not my legs or arms or chest. Just this big belly. So I could make lots of excuses that it's ok. I am, after all, 60 freakin' years old. But I know all those extra blood vessels and all that extra distance my blood has to cover make my aging heart work harder than it ought to. It keeps my blood pressure up higher than it should be. It makes me tired because I'm carrying 25 pounds extra around with me all day. The funny thing is, I know it wouldn't be hard to get rid of it. Eat less, eat healthier, exercise more. I do need to be healthy enough to work for 7 more years and there's WAY too much evidence around me that I can't take those 7 years for granted. So I know I need to take steps. I have a supportive wife and my sons all want me to stick around for a few more years. I should do this. I will, too. I hope.
Problem #2: Eyes and ears (I'm putting them together as aging senses). I'm nearly deaf in my left ear and will see a doctor about it on Tuesday, the day before my 60th birthday. I won't accept an operation, but a hearing aid would be ok. My eyes are just old. I can't read newspapers or magazines without my glasses any more. I try sometimes, but can only stare at the fuzzy lines that used to be letters. This has been happening gradually. Already 15 years ago, when I got out of the army, I knew I couldn't see the farthest targets anymore. But this problem is so gradual it doesn't always seem like a problem at all. The boiling frog, I suppose.
Problem #3: I'm kind of beat up, mostly from my army days. Both hands have been broken twice. I broke my collar bone once. My nose was broken once, too. My neck and back are occasional problems, but have actually been better the last few years, so I guess I can't complain.
Problem #4: My thyroid. As long as I take my medication, it really isn't a problem. Since half of it has been taken out, I know I'll have to take the synthroid for the rest of my life, but we old people get used to pills, I guess.
Problem #5: Arthritis. It's worse in my right wrist, but my left hand is occasionally bothered, too. I suppose this one has the potential to be a much bigger problem, but right now it's not even bad enough to require medication - just an Aleve or two for pain sometimes.
Everything else would have to be classified as minor. All in all, you could just say I'm getting old, which is pretty much what 60 is anyway. As one of my friends put it, "Welcome to the club."

Man's inanity to man

I always struggle with this. Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Over the years, I have come to believe that He lets us suffer the consequences of our vices, our ignorance, our meanness of spirit. There's a lot of that going around right now, if you hadn't noticed.
Cancer seems to be a scythe-bearing Death, cutting down people randomly, letting some survive while others don't. I got to thinking what in the world God could be telling us. Then I remembered.
We knowingly surround ourselves with toxins. We have soaps and detergents that are potentially much more dangerous than the germs they're supposed to kill. We buy houses with poison, plastic rugs, sprayed with more poison to protect them from spills. We let processors treat our food with chemicals, wrap it in plastics, then open it and cook it on pans that release toxins as the food cooks. We dump chemicals onto our precious yards, knowing full well that most of those chemicals will wash straight into the groundwater, even as we catch a quick drink from the hose. Our drinks - juices, alcohol, sodas, milk - all contain varying levels of poison. If we drink diet sodas, our bodies turn the sweetener into fomaldehyde in "acceptable" levels; at least the FDA assures it's safe.
If toxins aren't carcinogenic enough for you, we zap our foods in microwave ovens, then hold a microwave transmitter (yep, that's what a cell phone is) next to our brain most of the day. In the end, it's still crushingly sad when good people die of cancer. But we shouldn't claim we're surprised by it. Instead, we should be utterly shocked so many of us survive.

American Theocracy

American theocracy – A humble proposal
Evangelicals have finally convinced me that our founding fathers never really intended a strict separation of church and state. The more I think about it, the more I become convinced that the United States would be much better off if it were a theocracy. If nothing else, we could end interfaith rivalries that have contributed to the divisiveness that’s been tearing our country apart for the last decade. The problem, of course, is choosing which religion should be given the responsibility of sharing power with the federal government.
The Catholic Church must be considered first, since it is the largest single denomination in the United States. It does have experience in theocratic rule from the days of the Holy Roman Empire. It has considerable military experience dating all the way back to the Crusades. Even when not part of a theocracy, the Catholic Church has been used to wielding considerable power far beyond the rolls of its membership. The Catholic Church also has a great deal of wealth it brings to the table, as well as a widespread and influential membership. Unfortunately, it must be rejected, since the highest authority, the Pope, is not a U.S. citizen, nor even located within the country. Add to that all the sex scandals involving priests and the church’s long history of antipathy toward other religions, and it becomes patently clear that an American Catholic theocracy would be neither viable nor desirable.
A mainstream Protestant church would seem like a good choice, but Protestants are split down the middle between ecumenical and evangelical Christians. Even if they weren’t, the power struggles among Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, Pentecostals, Episcopalians, Lutherans, and various offshoots like Christian Scientists and Jehovah’s Witnesses would disqualify them. They’re just too fractured to be a coherent national governing force.
Eastern and New Age religions, while attractive, are simply too unfamiliar to most Americans. They lack the large membership and financial support to be a true partner in governing the country. The moral codes they embrace are not well defined, and often incompatibly diverse. And while Islam has its merits, it would simply be impossible to overcome anti-Muslim sentiment in the U.S.
So if we want to have a theocracy, we need a well-established religion, preferably Christian in doctrine, with a stable membership, financial resources, and ideally one with theocratic experience. Fortunately, there is such a church in our country, and a uniquely American church at that – the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints, better known to most people as the Mormons. Let me state immediately that I am not now nor have I ever been a member of this church. I’ve investigated this issue from an objective and practical perspective and truly believe that it would be in the best interests of the United States for the government and the Mormon Church to work together in ruling our country. Before rejecting this proposal, I hope the reader will allow me to present the case point by point.
The Mormons have a great reputation for being fiscally responsible. At the individual and family levels, they consistently have higher income levels than members of other churches. The church itself has a considerable amount of property and other forms of wealth. They already have a flat tax system of 10%, something quite a few U.S. citizens have wanted for quite some time. Since the church itself is fiscally conservative, I have no doubt they'd apply the same reasonable controls on the government.
The Mormon Church also has military experience, having formed its own militias when their church controlled the Utah territory. They were so well organized and armed, they were ready, willing, and able to take on the U.S. Army, if it became necessary. They have the Mountain Meadows Massacre to prove they're perfectly comfortable with the concept of pre-emptive strike. They have admitted it was a mistake and have accepted responsibility for it, which is something our secular government could mimic. In terms of homeland security, their screening process for prospective members could also serve to identify potential threats. Another interesting requirement they have is to keep a one-year food supply in case of emergency or Armaggedon or similar disastrous breakdowns of society. This could also be used in a recession, thus reducing the demand on social welfare systems.
They have a great welfare system. First, every member (so in a theocracy, every citizen) must fast 2 meals a month on the first Sunday of every month. The money that would have been spent on those meals is instead given to the Bishop's Storehouse. When someone's down on their luck, they can get food and other necessities, and sometimes even cash for rent and other bills, with the understanding that they will pay it back when they can or they can farm on the church kibbutz or perform other acts of community service. So the welfare system is actually more like workfare. The church also has training centers and employment centers where members can take seminars for writing a resume, dressing for success, and find jobs. In other words, they believe in teaching people how to fish for a lifetime, instead of giving them fish for a day.
LDS also has a great deal of international experience through their mission work. They boast some of the best linguists in the country. So any young Mormon who has finished his or her missionary work can just stay in the foreign country and transfer to the State Department. Since so many of them have been to and lived in foreign countries, their awareness of other cultures and customs could only enhance our image abroad.
I'm sure some of you will say you don't agree with some of the beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints. But that's fine - the Mormons, who have a long and terrible history of being discriminated against themselves, are one of the most tolerant religions in the country. Citizens should feel free to practice any faith they feel comfortable with. Of course, as with any theocracy, members of the official religion would have certain advantages. That's only fair.
I willingly admit that there's still a certain amount of sexism in the church, and even some repressed racism, but that's a perfect reflection of our society anyway. They're certainly no worse in that respect than the population at large.
I just can't see any flaws in this proposal. How about this for the new name of our country - The United States of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints. Has a nice ring to it.

Religious Backlash

According to a recent survey by the Program of Public Values at Trinity College in Hartford, CT, the percentage of Americans who identify themselves as Christian has dropped from 86% in 1990 to 76% in 2008. Mainline Protestant percentages have dropped from 17% to 12.9%. People who say they have no religion have risen in number from 8.2% to 15%.
I've been predicting this since George W. Bush "won" his first term in office, courtesy of the Supreme Court. The neocons used Evangelical support to put Bush in office, drumming up anti-liberal religious fervor. The Evangelicals hoped to use the resultant connections to power to bring about the downfall of separation of church and state in order to impose some of their religious beliefs on the rest of the country. The Catholic Church jumped on the bandwagon, supporting Bush with anit-liberal messages of its own. The antireligious backlash was predictable because now both religious groups have identified themselves with and connected themselves to a failed political movement. This is as it should be. It is my belief that nothing in the Bible and none of Christ's words justify turning His church into a political action committee.
The good news is that, in some cases, members of these religious organizations are beginning to re-examine their faith in God as it relates to their values and moral beliefs. I've certainly been involved in a spiritual quest to define myself and my relationship to God for most of my adult life, a span of just under 50 years.
I left organized religion almost 20 years ago, because every church I went to violated beliefs that I'd developed over the years. I refused to sit in a service that offended me and my beliefs. So now it's time to express my objections to established religion.
First, the Catholic Church has, in my opinion, too many untenable positions. The adherence to the belief in the infallibility of the Pope would be comical if it weren't so destructive. The recent visit to Africa by the current Pope, where he stated that condoms, rather than slowing the spread of AIDS, would make AIDS worse, makes Catholics choose between simple, straightforward facts or the word of the Pope. This is not an earthshaking revelation - most American Catholics quit believing in the infallibility of the Pope decades ago.
The Catholic stance on divorce ignores reality. Most modern, advanced societies have come to accept, first, that people make mistakes and, second, that they change over time. The church's attitude to this is "suck it up." But many Catholics worldwide, and especially in the United States, accept that divorce is preferable to the misery of life with the wrong person.
The institutionalized sexism of the Catholic Church is also untenable. There is nothing spiritually, intellectually, or morally inferior about women. The Catholic Church should allow women to serve equally with men, filling roles as priests, bishops, cardinals and even as Pope. This is the right thing to do.
It is also time for the Catholic Church to move out of the Dark Ages and allow priests and nuns to marry. They should have learned from all the sex scandals involving priests that there is no spiritual superiority to be gained from celibacy, but there is a great deal of risk in enforcing this inhuman standard on the all too human priesthood.
While the Catholic Church is not the only religion to institutionalize the requirement of its members to outbreed competing religions, it seems to be the most egregious. At a time when overpopulation is the primary cause of most of the world's ills, the Catholic Church refuses to bend - every couple is required to continue to have children throughout their childbearing years, no matter what the financial or social consequences. I've got news for the infallible Pope. Except in a few African and Asian countries, NO Catholics believe this or practice it. I think the Pope should excommunicate all of them. Of course, that would immediately reduce it from major world religion to sect status, but they would be standing by their values instead of pretending to.
Now here's my problem with Evangelicals. First, a very BRIEF description of my religious background. I grew up in the Southern Baptist church. I was baptized in 1960 in Waco, Texas. My mother's strong faith had a huge influence on me, and I was a regular church goer through high school. I was member of our church's youth choir and routinely would go proselytize on the beaches of Galveston Island. I have grown up. My biggest problem with Evangelicals is that they have become radicals, not conservatives. See, conservatives hold onto traditional beliefs, defending them, sometimes to the extreme and in the face of logic (as in the Catholic Church above). But modern Evangelicals have begun reinterpreting the scriptures, trying to convince us that Christ is pro-greed, pro-war, pro-poverty. They would have us believe that the separation of church and state as established by our founding fathers is just a cultural myth. Well, I reject this.
Perhaps my biggest rejection of Evangelicals has to do with proselytizing, the very sin I was guilty of in my youth. I now believe that trying to impose your faith on others is immoral. Proselytizing requires an assumption that everyone you encounter outside of your faith is spiritually inferior, that their beliefs will condemn them to hell and that conversion to your religious position will get them to heaven. This is an insulting assumption, full of the pride and ego Christ Himself would have rejected. So when proselytizers confront me, I respond with, "Is there something about my appearance that makes you think my religious beliefs are inferior to yours?" I do that because it always causes them to back off but, more importantly, it might help them reconsider just what proselytizing means to the victim. I do support one form of proselytizing - being a living example. If you lead a good moral and spiritual life, people will eventually ask, "What's your secret?" That's when you have a moral justfication for sharing your faith.
I don't believe the new megachurches would be tolerated by Christ. They are run on a business model by false prophets who are motivated by greed and power. I love the new backlash response to them - home churches, where family and neighbors gather in living rooms for worship services. No money is required, no political influence is coveted - just small groups of Christians gathering together to share their faith.
Evangelicals are doing the majority of Americans a huge favor by showing us the absurdity of a literal belief in the Bible. Of course, they don't have a literal belief in the Bible, since that's virtually impossible, given the blatant contradictions contained in its contents. In fact, no one can actually state what the Bible is - which version is the "real" Bible? And how do we interpret the Bible (we all must, after all)? And how destructive this literal interpretation is! At a time when science is our greatest hope for saving the world, Evangelicals would have us return to the Dark Ages, believing that the world is only 6,000 years old, that there were never dinosaurs, or that men co-existed with dinosaurs, and that evolution, even as it occurs before their very eyes, is more myth than fact. Faith is the most important word in the English language, but I will not accept any religion that insists that faith overrides fact. I do not believe the Bible or Christianity requires us to do that.
The weakest and most ludicrous symptom of Evangelical excess is the apocalyptic crap (that's exactly what it is - no better word to describe it) being spewed by some of the biggest names in American Christendom. These apocalyptic movements have been around since the death of Christ. At least one group of believers thought Judgment Day would come in their lifetime, and they lived in the time of Christ. Christ Himself said you cannot know the end of days, yet these false prophets are convinced they KNOW. It is a lie.
Finally, Evangelicals succeeded in turning their faithful into a huge, powerful political action committee. I believe Christ would be ashamed of this. If He returned today, he would not flog the moneychangers, he would flog these pseudoreligious politicians. It is the vilest corruption of Christianity I've seen in my lifetime. And make no mistake - I believe the counter-evangelical political activists on the left are just as wrong.
I used Evangelicals and the Catholic Church to make my point, but almost all of organized religion is guilty of some or all of these sins to varying degrees. But as long as churches feel compelled to violate common sense and the moral positions of most reasonable human beings, their decline in a modern, enlightened age, is inevitable.
For myself, I expect to continue conducting homechurch services with my family. I have three basic beliefs that I hope to instill in my three sons:
1. There is a God.
2. There are many paths to God.
3. Christ is my path to God.

It's official - I'm a doomsayer

I've tried to be positive, hoping for an economic turnaround in 2010, but I officially don't believe that's gonna happen anymore. Lots of bad things are happening now, all of which will make other bad things happen, which will in turn make other bad things happen. You know, people losing their homes, not buying stuff, losing their jobs, which makes more people lose their homes and not buy stuff, which makes more stores and businesses go broke, which makes more people lose their jobs...you get my drift. I had predicted that probably Chrysler would go belly up this year. But after all the financial prep and studies the carmakers have done, it appears GM is the one that isn't viable. GM! I don't know where the bottom is, but we're not there yet. I had predicted, with not a lot of certainty, that we'd bottom out at 12% unemployment in December. California has already topped 10%. International trade has dropped 48%. Ford and GM sales are also down 48%. Holy crap! Now I'm just hoping things will begin to turn around before Obama runs for re-election.

Better than sex

I've got three sons and, as they reached the appropriate age, my wife and I decided it was my job as the father to have "the talk" with them. Even though it was a serious and VERY challenging topic, I tried to keep it light. I've ended this talk with each of the boys by telling them, "Just remember, when anyone tries to tell you something is better than sex, they're lying."
And that keeps coming back to haunt me, because now I know I was the one who was lying. So what's better than sex? Spending a life with someone. Sharing the birth of children, the joy of love, the adventure of travel and buying a house and the fright of being in debt and taking kids to the emergency room, of praying with your whole heart and soul while a son is in the operating room with a burst appendix and a collapsed lung, of coming home from war, 40 pounds lighter, up a dark staircase in eastern Germany, a frantic wife meeting you on the landing with hugs and kisses you can't count, of being held while you ache with loss for an old friend, of holding her while she aches with loss for her mother, of leaving again for far off places, but always coming home to the same hugs and kisses, the same love.
Sex in there somewhere, and it's a wonderful part of it all, but it's a small part - a small part of that shared love, that shared adventure, that shared life.
I don't understand divorce anymore. How do you unshare a life built on all those things? I couldn't do it.
This concept will become important, I think, as the country goes through hard times. If you have this shared life, your faith in each other will help you through. We can make do with so much less than we have now - I know my family did when I was growing up. We may not want to go back to that, but even though we were poor, we didn't always know it. That's because we had each other.
I still have my job. I still have my mission to get my boys through college. When that's done, I'll choose another mission in life. I can do this because I have faith, and because I have this shared love with my Vera. We will get through anything.
So if you're out there and you don't have this, I can only give this advice. If you've been spending your time looking for someone to have sex with, you've been going down a false path. Look for someone to take care of, because that's the best way to find someone who will take care of you. Share your life with someone.
OK, so I got corny. I'm away from my family here in Cairo for 6 months and I miss them dearly. But my wife and I are still sharing the same life, the same love. I know I'll go home to those uncountable hugs and kisses.
I'm a lucky, blessed man.

A New Year

Oh, hell. I'm starting to feel like 2009 will actually be even worse than 2008. We started off with a brand new, very old war in Israel/Palestine, Obama is making plans to increase our national debt exponentially, supposedly to help us avoid the pain of an unavoidable recession, unemployment will continue to soar as retailers begin to close after a bad holiday sales season (Macy's already has), even Toyota is closing car plants, credit is tightening even as people's credit scores go down (including mine), and our nation continues to suffer from natural disasters (fires, floods, snow and ice storms). I don't believe it's the apocalypse, and pretty much think all the end-of-the-worlders are nutcases, but man, how bad can it get?
The good news is my job is fairly secure and I'm going to ride out half of 2009 here in Cairo, Egypt. My family is in Texas, where the recession's effects are still fairly muted, plus they have a little more money than usual with my extra pay for overseas duty. My oldest son continues to shine at U of Houston, and that's my number one mission in life now - to get all three of my sons through college.
Predictions for 2009: Economically, things will get worse before they get better. I don't believe we'll have a turnaround this year...MAYBE next year. The world recession will put a lot of pressure on some countries, a few of them our allies, that will result in peaceful or unpeaceful changes in government. India, China, Pakistan, and Afghanistan will all struggle. Israel has poked a stick into the Arab eye again - at some point, they will get sick of it and unify for at least long enough to force us to back off in the Middle East. This may happen this year, maybe next, but I do think it will happen. The polarization of wealth in the US will continue. How can it not? Most of the bailout money is going directly to the haves, while the have-nots get foreclosed on. Things we need will continue to rise in price, including utilities, gas, college, food, but incomes will continue to decline. This isn't Obama's fault - Reagan set most of this in motion, it came to a head under Bush, and now nature will take its course. Chrysler is dead already, but sometime this year they will admit it. Is anything good going to happen? I think we will fall in love with the Obama family - many of us already have. As much as the "conservatives" rant about family values, the Obamas are Ozzie and Harriet, Father Knows Best, all those old-style families that represented the ideal. And the little girls are so CUTE! I think political scandals will decrease, Blago notwithstanding. And I think my son will be an honors program senior by Christmas this year.
So...all is not doom and gloom, but it will seem like that to a lot of people this year.