Weighing 2007

2007 was mostly a good year. I guess the biggest event for me personally was the successful teaching assignment in Tajikistan. I did a good job, had a great time seeing an exotic country, and made a few extra bucks. I also managed to survive a full year in the Instructor Development Branch (basically, I now teach teachers). But my drive to write basically just shut down. I'm not too worried, but I am a little embarrassed. Physically, my head and back are better, but my right hand is damaged and painful. I lost, then regained weight, ending up pretty much where I started at the beginning of the year.
My wife had a great year. She had an exhibit, sold more art than ever, had a very successful tour guide stint in November/December, helped the boys do well in school, and stayed her usual healthy self.
As a family, we've done really well. We picked up two dogs! Toma is a Corgi mix and a good fit into our family. Vera rescued him while I was in Tajikistan. I don't really like dogs, but have to admit I like Muttchik (my name for him). Then later this year Vera rescued Maia, a Doberman mix. She's not a good match for the family, but we couldn't abandon her to the streets. She stays in the backyard during the day, then sleeps in the garage at night. The boys had an awesome year. Misha is now an honor student and ready to give a 4-year school a try. He finished 4 courses the second semester, which will give him a lot of confidence when he transfers. Gabriel finished with 2 A's and will take German in January. He only wanted one course so he could work on archery a little more. Gerry got his black belt in Tae Kwan Do, and got his green belt in judo. He works hard on school, too, and has said he wants to be a writer.
So what do we want for 2008? I need to write. I need to lose some weight. I MAY start school again in the fall. If I don't go to school, I'll probably start putting in for overseas assignments that look good. I'd really like to go to Mongolia or eastern Europe or back to central Asia somewhere.
It looks like Misha will go to University of Houston in the fall. He needs to succeed.
Gabriel can take it easy, but should still finish with another A. He'll take the PSAT this fall, then the SAT's later. He seems to be content with the idea of finishing more courses at SAC, then finding a good computer graphic arts program. Gerry just needs to keep on keepin' on. He grew a lot this year, so he's no longer a little kid.
Financially, we're still struggling. We haven't slipped into debt yet, but paying for college next year might push us into it. An overseas assignment would take care of that, though. I guess mostly I'm entering 2008 fairly uncertain about what I'll be doing and about prospects for my family. My biggest goal is getting Misha through college. It will be a major family accomplishment when he walks across the stage and receives his Bachelor of Science degree. But that's 2 or 3 years away, and I'm not used to being in limbo for that long. Oh, well, such is life.

Travels

I've been blessed with the opportunity to travel all my life. Within the US, I've been to CA, TX, NM, AZ, AR, LA, TN, Nebraska, MO, OK, KS, CO, NV, IA, NY, MA, NH, NC, and UT. I took a couple of short trips to Canada and Mexico, too. I've actually lived in Los Angeles and Monterey in California, in Waco, Houston, and San Antonio here in Texas, and in Clovis/Portales in New Mexico.
I lived in Japan for 5 years, Germany for 10, and spent 4-6 months in Taiwan, Latvia, and Tajikistan. I've been to Iraq twice, plus Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and Qatar. Those trips were related to Desert Storm and the current Gulf War.
I made the most of my 10 years in Germany. While stationed there with the Army as a Russian linguist, I visited the Netherlands (my wife's home country), France, Luxembourg, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Austria, Turkey, Switzerland, Greece, the Czech Republic, and England. I've traveled extensively within the countries of France, Germany, the Netherlands and Italy. It was something I always dreamed of, seeing the world. And I never wanted to see it on one of those "10 cities in 9 days" tours. I wanted to go places on my own, take my time, meet people and experience the cultures. All those trips have contributed to my character and personality. One thing I've learned is that the US has no business asserting its moral and cultural superiority. There are wonderful places in the world where people don't dream of coming to America. They even find the notion laughable.
Where do we get this arrogance? It puts blinders on us - we don't see that we're a country of murders, child and spouse abuse, drugs, stupid use of nonrenewable energy resources, poverty, no health insurance, home foreclosures, a shrinking middle class - I could go on, but you get my point. We're a mess - an empire in decline. We could do something to stop this decline, but our arrogance keeps us from even seeing it. I think we'll pay a high price, and I think we'll pay it soon.

Getting Old

I'm 58. I probably could manage aging better, but I'm not upset about getting older. I've made some concessions. I know I need to exercise more, but I just feel too tired at the end of the day when I get home from work. The main result is that, in the 13 years since I retired from the Army, I've added 20 pounds. I've leveled off at 190 and don't seem to go up or down more than 5 pounds, no matter what I do. That 20 pounds means I'm not obese, but I am overweight. I haven't felt any negative consequences except the obvious blow to my ego and a lack of stamina. All the weight is in one place - my gut. My legs, arms, butt...all normal. I just have this great belly hanging in front of me. I could get rid of it; I should get rid of it. But I don't.
I'm beat up. That's unavoidable after 22 years in the military. I have a bad back, bad neck, bad hips, bad hearing and weakening eyesight. I still function pretty well, though.
Since I got out of the Army, I've added some age-related limitations. I broke a wrist in Iraq. It didn't hurt that much, so I assumed it was a sprain. Now it's healed over and arthritis has set in. I have limited movement and residual pain now in my right wrist. I take pain medication for it every other day or so. It's really not that bad. In Tajikistan, I tore a ligament in my right thumb (what is it about my right hand?), so I can't really put any pressure on my thumb - I have trouble opening car doors and peanut butter jars. For both the wrist and the thumb, I have a brace I wear - all it really does is support my hand and wrist so I don't hurt myself by trying to do something reflexively that I can't do anymore.
With all these limitations, I'm still pretty functional. I can teach. I can travel. That lets me earn a living and support my family. I can still write. And I don't have any mental impairment - that's my greatest fear. I keep my brain active by writing, reading, doing puzzles. Alzheimer's doesn't run in my family at all, so I guess I shouldn't worry.
I got married and had kids late in life, so I plan on working until I'm 67. I'll still have one son in college, but my house will be paid off and I think the next car we buy (another Prius) will also be paid off by then. I'll have two sons grown up and out of college. I count on them taking care of their mother. She'll have social security, but she's 12 years younger than I am. She'll have the house and my 401k, so I think she'll be ok.
My biggest goal is to see my grandkids. I should be able to do that, God willing. All in all, I think I'm fine and have a lot to look forward to.

No Business Like Show Business

I was Frank Butler in "Annie Get Your Gun" in 1968 at La Porte High School. I had been one of the boyfriends in "The Boyfriend" the year before that and played the villain in a summer production of "Dirty Work at the Crossroads" even before that. I never actually aspired to be a professional actor, but theater has shaped my life in many ways. I continued to participate in theater in college until I was pressured out by the theater majors, who felt I was stealing parts from them. Theater was put on hold for a long time, until about 22 years ago, when I took a part in "The Snow Queen," a Russian play in which I played the prince. As it turns out, the woman who played my princess is now my wife of 20 years. But I used my drama training in my other careers. I was a platoon sergeant in the Army and learned that occasionally dramatic emphasis could be used to good effect. I was able to intimidate soldiers who were much larger than I was. Then I got to help an actor who had to play an NCO in Neil Simon's play about basic training - he later won an award for his portrayal. Now I'm a teacher, and use acting skills to enhance my ability to teach English. And I've written a very depressing play that no one is interested in doing.

So now some of us from the '68 cast are going down to see the show. It should be fun, and I hope we can talk about how theater has influenced our lives.

Christmas Day

I've worked my whole life, it seems, to define myself spiritually. I'm pretty happy with where I am, so here goes. My first belief is that there is a God. Second, there are many paths to God. Third, Christ is my path to God. It's that simple, but those three beliefs still create conflict with others. So many Christians point out that Christ is the ONLY path to God. I just don't accept that. I refuse to believe that Jesus or God would condemn to hell all human beings who hadn't accepted Christ as their personal saviour. I fully expect to see Mormans, Muslims, Buddhists, and, yes, atheists in heaven. That's not my main religious conflict these days. I get so angry when "Christian" leaders tell me directly or imply how I should vote. I don't like abortion. I think it's a horrible choice for a woman to make, on so many different levels. But as long as we have a society so stacked against a woman who chooses to have a child under difficult circumstances, I will not support groups who take that choice away from women. And almost universally, these "Christian" leaders want me to vote for a pro-war, pro-greed Republican politician. I will not. I want a more competent, kinder government, and I will vote for that. We have ample evidence now that the most evangelical, "Jesusy" candidate isn't necessarily the best person to lead the country. There are results to my beliefs. First, I will give to no church or charity affiliated with a religious organization until ALL churches get out of politics. It has saved me quite a bit of money.
Megachurches horrify me. If the whip-swinging, angry Jesus were here, he would drive people out of these corporate organizations more dedicated to power and wealth than Christian principles. This I believe. There is a new group of Christians who do "home church." They go from one person's house to another for Sunday services. This strikes me as a return to basic, personal Christianity as practiced and encouraged by Christ himself.
So how do I feel this Christmas Day? I feel a need to rededicate myself to Christian principles. I will absolutely say a prayer for peace. I'll pray that people can heal this hatred that has been generated in our country. We need to find a way to care for each other and to help each other have a better life. And I will pray for faith and hope that this can happen.

No Muse

I haven't written in months. Not my blog, not a short story, not a play, not a novel, not an op-ed piece. My wife thinks something is wrong. I guess there is. I have this feeling that something is about to happen - something big, something life-changing - and that it's not worth it to write before the big event because everything written before it will seem trivial and meaningless. Of course, the smart thing to do would be to write about that, which is essentially what I'm doing here.
What can it be? Maybe a new depression. Even the worst doomsayers believe we're going to have a recession in 2008. I think it will be worse. I think people will lose their homes and jobs in much greater numbers than anticipated. The housing crunch is already happening and a similar credit card crunch is looming. When consumers in our consumer economy finally max out their credit lines, they will have to stop buying. I think 2008 will finally see Chrysler go belly up. Some restaurants and theme parks (the most obvious receivers of discretionary spending) will die. Ford and GM will survive, but close more plants. In the meantime, gas and groceries will continue to cost more, at a time when a lot of Americans have no wiggle room in their monthly budgets. The sinking value of the dollar will make our clothes and cars and computers and most other basics that are made overseas cost more and more. I can't help it - I think there's a perfect storm brewing, and the government will be in no position to help. W is leaving us with more than 9 trillion dollars in debt! He's also leaving us a war that sucks up any governmental discretionary spending. I think it will be so bad that people will go back to growing their own vegetable gardens. Some will live in houses without electricity.
I do believe this could happen in 2008, but may wait a couple more years.
One of my writing projects is about what happens after the fall. I guess that's what I should work on.

Kucinich and Tajikistan

Oh, man, just too much stuff going on in my life. Today I went to a San Antonio Progressive Action Committee meeting. I went as a Veterans for Peace representative. 4 members of the Houston chapter came, and two members of the Military Families Speak Out organization were also there. There were at least three major (well, for San Antonio, anyway) liberal groups meeting and discussing business. I was glad to meet the MFSO reps, since I'll be having brunch with Nancy Lessin, one of the founders of the group, tomorrow. I'm broke, but they gave me a tee shirt to wear at the brunch. Very nice. Anyway, today's keynote speaker was Dennis Kucinich. I will definitely vote for him in the Dem primary. If we lived in a real Democracy where votes count more than dollars, he'd probably be our next president. He's a really good speaker. He also brought his new campaign 2006 wife. She's very pretty and MUCH taller than him.
Anyway, I have a little more than a month before I leave for a six-month teaching assignment in Tajikistan. I'm really excited about going. I mean, how many people do you know who've been to Tajikistan. As it turns out, I know 4. I'll make a little extra money, which will help pay down our bills. I'm hoping we can get out of debt this year. Our Prius will be paid off next month, and then we can focus on other bills.
I'm not quite so angry lately, but I'll probably go back to that if the Dems don't hold Congress or don't win the presidency next year. I really like Kucinich and Edwards. Robertson would be a good VP. Oh, well...six months is a pretty long time. Some people say the "real" candidates will already be determined by the time I get back.

Anti-War Speech at UT Pan Am

So I've been invited to speak at University of Texas - Pan America as a representative of Veterans for Peace and Military Families Speak Out. It's not the first time I've done this. While I was in Japan, I spoke twice in Tokyo and once each in Nagoya, Hiroshima, and Osaka. The last time was at a huge peace rally in Tokyo - my audience was 20,000! If it hadn't been raining so hard, we would have had over 100,000. This is only my third time to speak in Texas. I participated in a panel discussion at UT San Antonio. That was pretty good. Then on Memorial Day here in San Antonio, I gave a short speech, "No one wins a war," at the Vietnam Veterans Memorial downtown.
I've worked hard to prepare for this. I've read several books, learned a little more about the Rio Grande Valley and the UT Pan Am campus. I refreshed my memory on the intelligence community (they want me to talk about that, too).
The thing I had to think about most is what they might want to hear and what I want to tell them. They aren't necessarily the same thing. Still, I'll have a sympathetic audience - we all want this war to end.
I'm also going to speak only from an outline instead of from a prepared text. That's a departure for me, but a necessary one. I need to be more professional in my speaking skills. Up till now, I've simply written powerful messages, then read them to my audience. Not any more.
Well, I have a little more research to do. Wish me luck!

War, Antiwar, and right-wing idiots

So there are these people (I refrain from calling them idiots only because I know it's more like they have blinders on) from my high school who really, honestly believe that we should invade Iran and that we have the military capability to do so. They've even pulled out freakin' road maps to make their case. See, I hate this war. Well, to be honest, I now oppose war in all its forms for any reason. But I'm a retired US Army NCO. Desert Storm was my epiphany - America loves war, uses soldiers to achieve imperial objectives, and it only takes one incompetent president to make the most powerful military machine in history a world threat. Anyway, to the particulars of Iran. These things are now obvious: the US Army and Marines are currently strained to the breaking point while fighting two wars simultaneously. The only reason we keep enough soldiers to fight these wars is that we bribe them with insane amounts of money. We pay 5K, 10K or sometimes more to get people to come in, then pay bonuses up to 50K to keep them in. If we start a third war, how much will we have to pay to exhausted soldiers? We also know that Iran is larger and has a bigger population, so a war with Iran would essentially double (conservatively) the size of the conflicts we're fighting. The US economy is also strained to the breaking point paying for the current wars. Even if I were coldblooded enough to say our military could handle the new war, I would say the US simply can't afford it. Even W is now calling for a balanced budget (translation: "OK, maybe I HAVE pushed the deficit spending thing a bit too far."). Finally, anyone we send into Iran will die. It will be the most embarrassing, tragic loss for the US military in its history. Vietnam will look like a raging success in comparison. And yet, the Bush administration continues to use inflammatory language towards Iran, almost begging them to start something. This is playground bully diplomacy, but in this case, it's the bully who just isn't ready for the fight.