Father's Day 2015

Events in Charleston have overshadowed my personal celebration of Father's Day. I think of those fathers who lost their sons or daughters in that horrible attack. The murderer stole Father's Day from them for the rest of their lives. I know some of the victims were fathers, so they missed this day with their families. I can honestly say I understand how those families have been able to forgive the shooter. Life is life and death is death, after all.
Having said that, there is one father in particular I can't stop thinking about. While I do, in the back of my mind, reserve the "there but for the grace of god..." excuse for all parents who do their honest best to raise good children, I confess I'm not as kind to Dylann Roof's father. Even if, as this kid said, he was not raised in a hateful or racist home, I think at his last birthday party, this father must have known who his son was. He knew about the openly expressed hatred and racism his son expressed. And how did he respond? He gave his son a gun. "Happy birthday, Dylann. Sure hope you don't use this to act on those hateful values." No, I'm not forgiving. Of course, Dad is doing what any father would do under the same circumstances. He's lying low. Trying to be invisible. It won't work. I suspect he's also erasing his own racist tracks before he comes out to the public. Let's see if I can predict his quote, "While I love my son, I am sick from his acts of violence. I am sorry for the victims and their families. Please respect my family's privacy as we grieve, too." Yeah, that.
Please understand I am not blaming the father for the crime. But Dylann is the son he raised. Happy Father's Day, Ben Roof.
And what about symbols? Those pictures of Dylann Roof holding the Confederate flag and Senator Lindsey Graham saying, "This is part of who we are." Yes, there's more truth to that than Senator Graham intended. It's not who the victims are. It doesn't represent the 30% of South Carolina who are African American. It doesn't represent a sizable portion of the white population who reject that racist symbol. It represents Lindsey Graham. It represents Governor Nikki Haley. And it represents Dylann Roof. And the battle has already begun to defend it, no matter what.
But there's another symbol in those pictures. Dylann Roof holds guns in every photo I've seen. Is that "part of who we are," too? I guess we have to own up to that. Here's the irony there. The NRA, solid representative and advocate for the firearms industry, continues to lobby for the unbridled access to guns. All the guns you want, no matter who you are. It's a brilliant marketing scheme because the more guns there are, the more gun violence there will be, until people without guns will be so afraid that they'll go buy guns, too. And it has worked. I woke up this morning to pictures of congregants of black churches holding up firearms in church. As the NRA would say, "Cha ching!" or "Winning!" The irony? The organization that created the conditions for the shooting in Charleston is set to profit from it.
All these things are in my head this Father's Day. There should be peace in there somewhere. It's just hard to believe that we are so helpless. That we will accept and even defend the status quo in spite of the horrific, tragic evidence that the status quo should not be tolerated for another day. Because this is all too easy to predict after Columbine and Aurora and Sandy Hook. Nothing will be done. Nothing will change. Kill - Grieve - Repeat. It's as mundane as a shampoo label in our country. So, so proud to be an American.