Finish Lines

Today’s blog is about rites of passage and finish lines. When you’re younger, you begin to experience a series of rites of passage. Your first kiss, your driver’s license, the prom in high school graduation, maybe college graduation, marriage, first kid, and career milestones are all markers that your life is progressing as it should. But I’m past all that. I’ve begun breaking the tape on a series of finish lines. I first thought about this when I turned 60. That’s when I realized and admitted to myself that I was old. I’d already gone through the phases of saying 40 is the new 30, 50 is the new 40, but 60 is just 60. You can no longer dodge it or pretend. After that finish line, I turned 65. That’s when I was required to sign up for Medicare and TRICARE for life. For life.

I think my next finish line will be retirement. The plan now is for that to happen in September 2018. There is a tradition where I work to present retirees with a sad Indian on a horse. It’s like a graphic symbol that it’s time for you to die. I don’t see my retirement that way. My body still works. My mind still works. There are things I have planned and want to do. As long as I can drive safely, road trips will be a big part of my future. Vera and I have discussed opening our own art gallery. She has connections with several very good artists. I think it would be fun and useful to manage and work in the gallery. She already has a very good business advisor and we will meet with him in a few weeks. Since I’m a natural born planner, it seems smart to start this planning three years out.

There is another aspect of rites of passage. I also measure my life by when my sons experience their own rites of passage. I’ve never liked the concept of pride, but I permit myself to feel a certain amount of pride when my boys graduate from high school or college, begin careers, establish stable relationships (today’s substitute for marriage), or just begin to figure out and find their way in the world.

The significance of finish lines is not lost. I realize and I’m perfectly comfortable with the knowledge that each finish line I cross brings me closer to the final finish line. I’m good with that. Every human starts the same race. Every human will finish it. I figured out a couple of years ago that the start and finish are not as important as the race itself. I have been luckier than most with the experiences I’ve crammed between those two markers. I’ve gotten a great education, found a great life partner, had three great sons, and I’ve seen the world. I’ve managed to have two great careers, one as a Russian linguist in the Army, and one as an English teacher. I’m still fairly healthy and expect to live quite a bit longer. However, I know full well that I may not. And all I can say about that is, it’s okay. Life is good.

Not satire this time

What's the point? We are completely, absolutely a divided nation. It's time for us to consider peaceful, reasonable options for splitting up. Here's my proposal:
First, a 5-year latent period. We will be one nation until we sort out who goes where, how we split up the military, Social Security, taxes, etc. It will take at least that long.
Second, who goes where. I like the idea of at least three new countries. There are some states with a persistent liberal point of view - California, New York, Oregon, Washington, Connecticut, New Jersey, Vermont, Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Delaware, and Maryland. That looks like a pretty nice country to me. There could be a better name, but for convenience, let's call them the Liberal States of America. Conservative States of America could be Texas, Arizona, Mississippi, Kansas, Arkansas, Georgia, Alabama. Independent States of America might be outliers like Alaska, Idaho, the Dakotas, Montana. Remaining states could have an election to decide which new country they wanted to align themselves with.
This makes sense primarily because we've become such a sick, mean-spirited country. The second Republican debate made me realize that there are people in this country who truly believe that any of those people would be a better president than any Democrat. On all the major issues, these people stood exactly opposite me - I love Planned Parenthood and it's a matter of conscience that it be funded. To them, it's a matter of conscience to defund Planned Parenthood. To them, it's a matter of conscience to go after illegal aliens. To me, it's a matter of conscience to give long-term resident undocumented immigrants a path to citizenship. To them, taxes must be cut, government must be cut, the military must expand. I am against all of those. I use "I," but I do mean "we." Most liberals agree with me on these points. I say let the people who believe this have their way, but without imposing their national view on the rest of us. And this way, we won't be trying to impose our national view on them. They can have the homophobic, small-government, "I before we" religious republic they want, and we liberals get the European-style version of socialism lite that we want.
The only thing stopping us is this emotional attachment to the concept of the United States as a single entity. Well, you know what? That's been dead since Reagan was president.
There would be another benefit. The rest of the world wouldn't have to suffer the consequences of the US using its military to manage the rest of the world. Yes, there would be some violent repercussions while that vacuum was filled. Countries and regions would have to solve their own problems. That won't be peaceful, but it's not exactly peaceful now, is it?
That 5-year latent period would also give a lot of us time to move to our country of choice. I would not be able to stay in Texas, but there are people who would not want to stay in Liberal States of America, so maybe a property swap could be arranged.
Finally, this could be set up as 5-year latency, then 10-year trial period. At the end of ten years, we could have a national referendum to see if we wanted to become the United States of America again. I suspect we wouldn't want to.

Megadeath

Don't know why this theme keeps running through my head. I'm sure there's a reason somewhere. For those of you who don't remember, the term "megadeath" was coined during the Cold War and was a term of measurement to designate a million human deaths. Usually, experts would match nuclear weapons to a particular target and estimate the number of megadeaths that would ensue. Example: 6 hydrogen bombs dropped on Moscow = 9 megadeaths. Nice, huh?
One reason this concept has come to mind is the recent explosion in China, but as far back as Bhopal, we've been on the edge of a megadeath incident. Three Mile Island, Chernobyl, and Fukushima all demonstrate how probable such an event is, though none of them reached megadeath status.
Here's what I've been thinking about megadeath. There will be a megadeath incident in my life time. The combination of dense population and earthquake faults, super volcanos, hazardous materials, typhoons and hurricanes, tornados, or raging fires makes it almost inevitable. The one requirement for a megadeath incident is population density. As the human population grows (and it's growing exponentially), the odds for a megadeath incident increase, too.
I am most curious about how we'll respond when something like this occurs. My prediction is that, of course, we'll be horrified first and foremost. And then we'll think, "Oh, it was terrible, but it won't happen again." And we'll carry on, business as usual. But what about the second one? Or the third? What if we take the same attitude as Americans to mass shootings? We get used to them, throw up our hands and say there's just nothing to be done about it. Yeah, I think that could happen, except the US is not the world.

Issues and Elections

The bombast and sham of the Republican "debate" got me thinking. Who will I vote for and why? It's simple. Every Republican on that stage still supports trickle-down economics. It's a failed economic policy that screws the middle class. I don't care about the race or gender or wealth of any candidate of either major party. Here are my issues in order of importance to me: 1 - Tax the rich. Just raise their rates a little. Don't wipe them out. Don't even tax them enough to lower their standard of living. But definitely make them pay more. Republicans are universally against this. I will not vote for them. 2 - Raise the minimum wage. It's the decent thing to do. All this BS about how much harm it would do our economy is just a lie. Democrats all support raising the minimum wage. 3 - Leave Obamacare alone or fix it. All Democrats support this. As far as I can tell, all Republicans oppose it. 4 - Immigration: give all long-term, non-criminal illegal immigrants a path to citizenship. No fines. No punishment. They've lived here, built homes here, paid taxes here. Let them stay. Jeb is closer than any Republican to this, but I will mention him later. 5 - Leave women alone. Let them make their own choices about their bodies and their futures. Don't impose your religious beliefs on their wombs. Sorry, a fetus is not a baby. No Republican supports this position (it wasn't so long ago when moderate Republicans were allowed to be pro-choice). I cannot in good faith vote for any anti-choice politician. Fund Planned Parenthood. 6 - Global warming is real and our government has to do something about it. Some Republicans accept this; most do not. 7 - Marriage equality is the law of the land. I'm happy about that. It's the right thing to do. Leave it alone. Most Republicans want to go back to what we had before. Just no. 8 - Peace and diplomacy first. If Iran is a threat to Israel and Saudi Arabia, we've spent a fortune arming them. They can defend themselves. We shouldn't have to. All of that means that Republicans will try to make this election about "character." Attacks on the personal lives and character of the eventual Democratic candidate will be relentless. Republicans have lots of practice. They have attacked Obama and his family constantly for the last 7 years. They've been attacking Hillary Clinton for just as long. Benghazi demonstrates something quite simple: even when they have nothing, they will keep attacking. Not one accusation has proved credible, but Republicans continue to spend time and money trying to smear her rather than conducting the country's business. But these attacks will have no effect on my vote. None. Because the issues that are important to me won't change. Even if Hillary is proven to be evil incarnate. Even if she only changes her underwear twice a week. Even if she's not a true blonde, she will still do more to advance the causes I believe in than any Republican. That is also why it won't matter who the Democrats nominate. Socialist Bernie? Better than any Republican. Joe Biden? I think he'd be a great president. Jim Webb? I'd hold my nose, but I'd still vote for him. I'll still pay attention to the Republican primaries, but more for entertainment. It's still not certain if Republicans can get a moderate candidate through the primaries. In my opinion, part of the reason Romney lost is that he ran as a moderate once he got the nomination. He lost more than a few Tea Baggers in the process. Jeb Bush is trying to stake out turf as the moderate. He was #2 in the polls before the debate. I suspect his numbers will go down in the next polls. And, see, he's the moderate. The one who says Americans need to work more hours. The one who says we spend too much on women's health care. The one who has to pretend he's not the son and the brother of two failed Republican presidents. One couldn't even get the support of his own party to get reelected; the other left the country in shambles. Yeah, I wouldn't vote for him, even though I do believe he wouldn't be as big a disaster as his brother. Well, that's where I stand on the election process. I'm pretty sure I won't change much, no matter what the billionaires say in their PAC ads.

Are you getting what you want from life?

That's what I've been thinking about the last couple of days. It's a less complicated question to answer than "Are you happy?" I have to say my own answer to that question is pretty positive. I own my home, we have two nice, environmentally friendly cars, I am happily married and have three sons. I think I can say my wife and sons are, for the most part, getting what they want from life. I make enough money to pay bills, buy a few luxuries (cable TV, smart phones, big screen TV, easy chair, at least one trip per year and two vacations a year). I also have a job I love, one that challenges me and lets me be creative. I've also managed to build a decent retirement that I'll start enjoying in three years. Oh, and although I'm a pretty severe introvert, I do have some good friends around me. I'm not bragging, though. I think it's important to assess our existence from time to time. If I use this measurement, I have to admit that my sister and most of my brothers are also getting what they want out of life. I feel good about that. NOW...if all of that is true, what are my responsibilities to the rest of the human race? Honestly, I don't want to stand in anyone's way. Let them get what they want out of life, too. That's a pretty basic reason for my being pro-choice and for marriage equality. If I do things that hinder people in either of those categories, I'm blocking them unnecessarily. I won't do it. But leaving people alone isn't really enough. I want to help others have a better chance to get what they want out of life. I have only one charity I give money to, but it helps children in hard circumstances have a safe place to live and develop until they finish high school. And I vote Democrat. If I have to pay more in taxes so we can raise the minimum wage or provide health care or train veterans for jobs or help disadvantaged kids go to college, I'm good with that. I want to see that happen. Finally, what about you? Are you getting what you want out of life? Why not? And if you're not, what are you doing to change that? I hope you can come up with some good answers. Life is good.

I know stuff you don't know.

There is a universal human truth. Every human being can say, "I know stuff you don't know. I believe stuff you don't believe." Yes, we would have many overlapping bits of knowledge and beliefs that we could agree on, but it's the differences that create the problems.
Notice, I've made two categories. When I say I know stuff, or you do, these are things that we come across and are informed about. Yep, sometimes that information is false; if it's "just" knowledge, well, if we get new information or facts, that replaces the old data set pretty smoothly. Of course, we always like to believe we're right, so sometimes we hold onto our old "facts" pretty tightly, even when we're given irrefutable proof to the contrary.
Then there's that stuff we believe. Most religions require you to believe their myth to the exclusion of all others. They have to believe they are RIGHT and everyone else is WRONG, else there's no compelling reason to join their sect. Well, my position is this: believe what you want. Really. Just don't try to scare me or guilt me into accepting your myth. You have nothing to offer me. I gain nothing by accepting your myth. I lose nothing by walking away. Oh, I know you believe I'll lose a lot or gain a lot, but that's your belief, not mine.
I do think every single person knows something I don't know. That's the essence of the value of every human life. There's a value or insight or skill that the rest of us benefit from if we let that person become who they were meant to be. I happen to believe we have a better chance of doing that if we don't let outside individuals or belief systems limit us.
In the end, you don't have to believe what I believe. And...I don't have to believe what you believe. Let's live by that.

Blobs of protoplasm

Taken down to our most basic level, we are no more than blobs of protoplasm attempting to prolong our own metabolism as long as possible. Our evolution let us develop a sense of future and of connectedness that apparently have a survival value. Interesting that these complex relationships we're capable of compel us, sometimes, to do our best to influence, for better or worse, the metabolism of other blobs of protoplasm. To me, those relationships are good on a personal level. It's important to me that my wife and sons maintain their metabolism in fairly comfortable circumstances, both now and after I'm gone. I've come to the conclusion that elaborate belief systems, including religions and governments, unnecessarily complicate and widen those relationships. This is essentially what libertarians believe about government. Smaller government disengages from influencing the metabolic success or failure of subject blobs. Republicans and Democrats basically just differ on which blobs should be given better circumstances and which ones shouldn't. I engage in the political process because I have another odd survival mechanism our species developed: a sense of right and wrong.
So I'll keep trying to create positive circumstances for my circle of influence, as Stephen Covey puts it. This may seem a funny way to look at this, but it helps me in one way. I understand the motivation behind helping others continue a positive existence. And I don't understand the motivation behind making it harder for others. That simply cannot have a positive effect on my circle of influence. It just makes life harder for others.
My little brother, Buddy, gave me a life lesson this week. Gerald and I stopped by to see him in Pasadena. We sat and talked for about an hour. I make more than 3 times as much money as he does. He and his extended family live in considerably reduced circumstances. But they seem happy. For them, life is good. As Gerry and I were leaving, Buddy watched me get into my shiny new Prius and then stopped me, looked me in the eye, and said, "Robert, if you or your family ever need anything, you just let me know."
I am not worthy.

Good times

It's been a good couple of weeks for liberals. Obamacare is affirmed by the Supreme Court. Next step: replace it with single payer next time we have the White House and Congress. Marriage equality is the law of the land. The religious right wing outliers who are still resisting look stupider every day. The 14 or so Republican presidential candidates are competing to see who can look dumber than the others. They're ripping themselves apart on immigration and the rebel flag and ignoring the Constitution. How fun.
On our side, I think the Clinton-Sanders rivalry is good. More people identify as Democrats than Republicans by about 9%. Obama is shaping the coming election as trickle-down economics vs. middle class economics. If Democrats can make that stick, we win big in 2016. And Obama is slowly getting the respect he deserves. He has achieved so much in such a hostile environment.
So I'm going to remain positive. The pendulum is swinging back in our direction. Life is good.

The Popes of America

You can't really talk about a Pope unless you talk about the Pope of the Catholic Church. He is the sole arbiter between Catholics and God. He is also the single Supreme Court Justice of the church. If he says no divorce, there's no divorce, since he also happens to be infallible. I have been informed that Popes are no longer considered infallible in some regards, but when they make a doctrinal decision and decree, the Pope cannot be in error. This, as I understand it, is still true, BUT...American Catholics apparently do not accept this doctrine, either. There are two incontrovertible examples. Popes have been unwavering in their opposition to divorce. Divorce is not only wrong, it's unacceptable, except in very narrow circumstances. And yet the divorce rate among American Catholics is 21%. While that's much lower than the population at large, it is still over 1/5th the Catholic membership. I suspect even more Catholics are not opposed to marriage. So on this one point, a large number of American Catholics do not accept the infallible decree of the Pope. This is interesting to me because, in the end, which one has more power? Well, clearly the people who get a divorce have done what they wanted. The Pope was powerless to stop them. The church does have the power to punish them and quite often does, by denying sacraments or even excommunication. Just so you don't think this is the only example, I'll also mention birth control. Among several sources, it seemed to me the most credible number was 86%. That's how many American Catholics USE birth control. That's about as strong a rejection of infallible doctrine as I can imagine. So the Pope is the supreme leader of the Catholic Church. There's no one above him to correct or admonish him. He's at the top and he calls the shots. But people don't have to do what he says, apparently.

That gets us to our American popes - the Supreme Court of the United States. Once chosen, the justices serve for life or until they retire. They are part of our governmental system of checks and balances because they can override the actions of the legislative and executive branches just by decreeing those actions unconstitutional. They are checked at two levels. First, by the nature of their appointments. The President nominates a justice and the Senate has to approve him/her. So both the other branches get a shot at the nominee. The fact that there are 9 of them is another check - one guy can make a mistake, but we assume that the majority of 9 experts on constitutional law are pretty much going to be right almost every time. AND...if they're wrong, we can overrule them. But they have to be SO wrong that 2/3 of Congress is willing to amend the Constitution, then 3/4 of the states have to ratify the amendment.  This has been done 17 times (yes, there are 27 amendments, but the first 10 were tacked on in order to get the Constitution approved). So it's not impossible, but it is justifiably difficult. I can't imagine anyone disagreeing with the amendments that abolished slavery, or gave women the right to vote, or repealed prohibition.

And now we get to the decisions this week by our infallible justices. You can squirm all you want to about their decision on Obamacare, but it's the law of the land. The argument is over. The court basically says they're not going to do the legislature's job. If Congress doesn't like it, they have the power to rewrite it or repeal it. That's their job, not the court's. I like that. It was a 6-3 decision, so the message couldn't be clearer. For Republicans, it's a challenge. Do something. Anything. But don't expect them to do it for you.

The justices also made a decision about fair housing, but it's simply not as controversial as the other rulings. I really like their decision, but I'm not going to discuss it here.

The other huge decision was the one on marriage equality. Once again, I agree with and applaud the court's decision. The howling on the right mirrors the howling that ensued when Social Security was created, when biracial couples were allowed to marry, when schools were integrated...it's all so old and tedious. None of the suggestions for avoiding the ruling sound plausible. Civil disobedience? What are you going to do? Not get married to someone of the same gender? At least two Republican presidential candidates have suggested either doing away with the Supreme Court or impeaching the justices (absurd because they would face the same "high crimes and misdemeanor" standard presidents do - making a decision a minority of Americans disagree with doesn't meet that standard). Doing away with the Supreme Court essentially would end our country as we know it. So if you're opposed, know the Constitution and understand how our government works. You don't have the voting power, the legislative power, or the executive power to overturn any of these decisions, because most Americans agree with them. Deal with it.

Father's Day 2015

Events in Charleston have overshadowed my personal celebration of Father's Day. I think of those fathers who lost their sons or daughters in that horrible attack. The murderer stole Father's Day from them for the rest of their lives. I know some of the victims were fathers, so they missed this day with their families. I can honestly say I understand how those families have been able to forgive the shooter. Life is life and death is death, after all.
Having said that, there is one father in particular I can't stop thinking about. While I do, in the back of my mind, reserve the "there but for the grace of god..." excuse for all parents who do their honest best to raise good children, I confess I'm not as kind to Dylann Roof's father. Even if, as this kid said, he was not raised in a hateful or racist home, I think at his last birthday party, this father must have known who his son was. He knew about the openly expressed hatred and racism his son expressed. And how did he respond? He gave his son a gun. "Happy birthday, Dylann. Sure hope you don't use this to act on those hateful values." No, I'm not forgiving. Of course, Dad is doing what any father would do under the same circumstances. He's lying low. Trying to be invisible. It won't work. I suspect he's also erasing his own racist tracks before he comes out to the public. Let's see if I can predict his quote, "While I love my son, I am sick from his acts of violence. I am sorry for the victims and their families. Please respect my family's privacy as we grieve, too." Yeah, that.
Please understand I am not blaming the father for the crime. But Dylann is the son he raised. Happy Father's Day, Ben Roof.
And what about symbols? Those pictures of Dylann Roof holding the Confederate flag and Senator Lindsey Graham saying, "This is part of who we are." Yes, there's more truth to that than Senator Graham intended. It's not who the victims are. It doesn't represent the 30% of South Carolina who are African American. It doesn't represent a sizable portion of the white population who reject that racist symbol. It represents Lindsey Graham. It represents Governor Nikki Haley. And it represents Dylann Roof. And the battle has already begun to defend it, no matter what.
But there's another symbol in those pictures. Dylann Roof holds guns in every photo I've seen. Is that "part of who we are," too? I guess we have to own up to that. Here's the irony there. The NRA, solid representative and advocate for the firearms industry, continues to lobby for the unbridled access to guns. All the guns you want, no matter who you are. It's a brilliant marketing scheme because the more guns there are, the more gun violence there will be, until people without guns will be so afraid that they'll go buy guns, too. And it has worked. I woke up this morning to pictures of congregants of black churches holding up firearms in church. As the NRA would say, "Cha ching!" or "Winning!" The irony? The organization that created the conditions for the shooting in Charleston is set to profit from it.
All these things are in my head this Father's Day. There should be peace in there somewhere. It's just hard to believe that we are so helpless. That we will accept and even defend the status quo in spite of the horrific, tragic evidence that the status quo should not be tolerated for another day. Because this is all too easy to predict after Columbine and Aurora and Sandy Hook. Nothing will be done. Nothing will change. Kill - Grieve - Repeat. It's as mundane as a shampoo label in our country. So, so proud to be an American.

But why retire, Robert?

Because I'm tired. Yes, I have a teaching job that doesn't take that much out of me. If I had to, I could probably go on teaching for at least 5 years, but...I'm tired. Time to take it easy, do some things just for me. I'm SLOWLY decorating my meditation room, a place to retreat from time to time. Pale green walls, symbols of nature and peace. No electronics. I'm considering blocking out heat and air conditioning, too. As little machine made as possible, but I will have a lamp and a futon couch/bed.
I was thinking about different mes this week. I was a different person in different parts of my life. One place in particular came to mind. I was in New Mexico from 1972 to 1975, and I was actually two people at once. There was Air Force Robert, who was not a very good electronics technician and wasn't really comfortable in the Air Force. My friends at Cannon AFB knew that Robert earlier in those years, but I slowly became immersed in my other persona, Smitty, who was a student at Eastern New Mexico University. Since I worked nights for the Air Force, I was able to go to school during the day. Some people in that world didn't even know I was an airman. This was an important time for me - I finally found myself as a student. I loved every English class I took, lost myself in Shakespeare, Hemingway, Twain, Faulkner, Milton. It all MEANT something to me. It helped me make sense of the world.
And who is left from those worlds? Oh, I remember my Air Force friends. I do know one of them owns a ranch in New Mexico and I did visit him once since I left. But really, it would take quite a bit of time to track any of those guys down. My friends at ENMU were more intimate, but one friend became a true, lifelong friend. I remember first seeing Jan in the basement cafeteria in the Student Union Center. She was this perfect blonde walking across the room and I was mesmerized. I didn't lust after her - never did. I just wanted to know her, to be her friend. I didn't think that would ever happen, but I was in theater (yeah, that's right - classes, work, AND theater) and we had mutual friends and finally got to know each other. I learned a lot from Jan. I learned that a beautiful woman could be my friend without being a lover. We never tried to be more than friends because we didn't need to. Jan is in California and we are friends on Facebook. I hope I can take a retirement road trip to see her again. Maybe we could meet back in New Mexico.
So college Smitty overshadowed Air Force Robert, and that was a good thing. They left New Mexico when I graduated from ENMU in May and received my Honorable Discharge in August. They're both part of who I am now. Life is good.

Blog Therapy: Facebook is not a blog; contemplating retirement

Blog Therapy: Facebook is not a blog; contemplating retirement

Facebook is not a blog; contemplating retirement

I haven't blogged in a while. I let Facebook serve as a substitute. I've been kicking this around in my head for about three weeks now. There was one option to begin my blog again when I turned 66. Or when I hit the 36 month mark before retirement. And then there were just no excuses anymore. If I'm going to start it then, why not now? So there you have it. My goal is to say something useful once a week. Useful to me or to friends or to strangers. If not useful, maybe interesting or insightful.
First subject: How and when to retire and why.
How: As with most people, I cannot retire until I can afford it. It's amazing to me how many people of my generation will never be able to afford this luxury. There's a level of fear and sadness and even despair people express when they acknowledge that they're in their mid sixties and do not have the wherewithal to retire, nor do they have a manageable path to retirement. So they will work until they can't anymore. If I think about winning the lottery, I think about helping them. That's what I'd do with the money. In lieu of that, I hope things aren't as bad as they think. Life has a way of working itself out. As for me, I have three sources of permanent income once I retire, plus my retirement account. I also have three years of triple income that will help me pay all my debts before my last day at work. No car payments. No credit card payments. No house payments. Nada. I'm going to be ok. Oh, I won't be wealthy, but I won't be poor, either.
When: I know this already. September of 2018. That's the time I need to get financially healthy. I also need some time to prepare myself mentally for retirement. There are plans to make. Commitments. I need to be relevant, useful, and functional. I have so many options. Road trips to Maine, to Canada, to Oregon, Washington, and Alaska. To Yellowstone and Bryce Canyon and the Everglades. I want to see these places because they've long been a part of my psyche, either because of books or pictures or movies. I need to see them for myself. There is the problem of friends. There are people at work I love and will miss, but I'm determined to make a clean break. I will not be a person who makes "guest" appearances from time to time. I will miss them all, and can meet some of them for lunch on Fridays or weekends, or we can keep in touch on Facebook.
I want to play a role in politics. I don't have the energy or money to run for office, but I can help people who do. I'm sure future blogs will deal with political subjects, because that is my nature.
Perhaps most important of all, I need to explore spirituality. I have pretty much let go of organized religions - all of them. But I have not worked out exactly what beliefs and morals I want to put in that place.
One other topic to explore: what has my existence meant? How do I find a proper perspective? This is actually not necessary. I will walk off this Earth at a time and place not in my control. If I have time to make sense of this life, well, fine. If not, so what?

Dishonorable

Since I retired from the Army in 1994, a little over 16 years ago, I've had two people question the character of my service. The first speculated that, since I didn't automatically jump to the defense of the Navy SEALs being tried for abusing prisoners, something must have gone terribly wrong when I was in the Army and so I must be bitter. In fact, I simply believe that the military justice system works pretty well. I also have just as much faith in the officers who accused the SEALs as I do in the SEALs themselves. In the end, they were acquitted. The system worked.
Recently, it was implied oh so subtly, that there must have been some kind of issue, since I "only" retired as a Sergeant First Class. I'm going to explain why that happened, because I want to remove grounds for speculation and false assumptions, but first, let me tell you why there can be no higher insult than to question the integrity of my service. I try very hard not to be PROUD of anything. I was raised with the saying "Pride goeth before a fall." But I'm proud of my 22 years of military service. People who know me and don't think I'm a very military person sometimes ask how I wound up in the military and stayed so long. My answer is always the same: "There's something to be said for a hard life lived well." If I could have put that on my Honorable Discharge and my DD-214, I would have. It sums up my military career very well.
But the question - the mean-spirited, unprofessional, insulting, chickenshit question - hangs out there now. "If you lived that life so well, if you served with honor, why did you retire as ONLY an E-7?"
First, because I served 4 years in the US Air Force first. If you serve in one branch and then transfer to another, those years in the other branch serve as a millstone around your neck. It takes years to overcome the disadvantage. You have to be better than everyone else just to be considered equal. To be honest, I was not very good in the Air Force. I was an electronics technician, but I wasn't good at nor interested in electronics. I got put on night shift and put my time and energy into attending college full time. I got my BA with honors in English from Eastern New Mexico University in 1975, three months before I got my Honorable Discharge from the US Air Force.
I joined the US Army to be a Russian liguist in 1976. I didn't love the Army so much as I loved being a linguist. It didn't hurt that the first thing the Army did after basic training is send me to Monterey, California to study Russian for a year. I still love Monterey. My career progressed very well after that, since promotion from E-4 to E-5 and E-5 to E-6 were primarily controlled at the unit level. If they put you on the promotion list, then you got promoted if you had enough promotion points. My time in service in the Air Force and my bachelor's degree both gave me more than enough points. In my year and a half at Ft Hood, I went from E-4 to E-6, with the minimum time in grade required. This could not have happened if my platoon sergeants, first sergeants, and commanders had not considered me worthy of such quick promotions. I worked hard at Ft Hood simply because there was nothing else to do. After becoming a Staff Sergeant, I went back to Monterey for another year of Russian, then to Field Station Augsburg for 4 years. Many staff sergeants would have been recommended for promotion after 5 years time in grade. I was recommended, but not selected, because an Army-level board looks at your records and evaluates you against all other NCO's in your career field. To them, I was a staff sergeant with a total of 5 years experience as a Russian linguist. The NCO's I was competing against had 10 to 12 years experience. I had hoped to make SFC - we always hope we make it - but I understood very well why others would be promoted ahead of me. Instead, I went back to Monterey for another year of Russian. When it was over, I returned to Germany and eventually became "the Czar of Schneeberg" (the 207th MI Brigade commander dubbed me with this title) - the NCOIC of a remote mountaintop listening post on the Czech border. I loved the place and the job. I was promoted two years into that assignment, so I still made E-7 just after the 12-year mark. It was looking very possible that I would be able to move up even higher in the ranks. And then I met Vera.
I was sent to a civilian Russian course in Germany, and Vera went from her university in Utrecht. She was and still is a Dutch citizen. When we became engaged, I was required by regulation to report my relationship to the military. My top secret, special compartmented information clearance was temporarily suspended. When the background investigation was finished, I was told I could keep my top secret clearance, but I would not be able to have access to special compartmented information, which was required for my job as a voice intercept operator and supervisor. So there was my choice - stay single, keep my job, and expect an eventual promotion to first sergeant, or marry Vera, change careers as an E-7 with 14 years of service, making it almost impossible to compete against career interrogators. I made the only choice I could - I married Vera. It's the best choice I've ever made, even though it caused the one biggest regret I have in the military. After being a successful NCOIC and subsequently a successful platoon sergeant in Desert Storm, I wanted to be a first sergeant and to have my own company. But I knew Army-level boards would look at my record, all my maxed out NCOER's, and still say, "We can't promote a sergeant first class with one year (or a few) before promoting a career interrogator."
I had one last chance. After 3 years at Schneeberg, Vera was pregnant with our first son. She knew I was due to rotate back to the States, and asked if I could request a consecutive tour in Germany (another 3 years). She was afraid to have her baby in a US hospital. This wasn't a hard decision to make - I loved Germany, I loved Schneeberg, and I loved Vera. After I requested the consecutive tour, I got orders to go to Ft Bragg. Without going into too much detail, the timing and events led to my being able to choose - go to Ft Bragg, get Airborne qualified, then suddenly have a renewed chance to move up in rank. In all my years in the Army, Vera only asked this one thing. I told her what it would mean to my career and to me personally, but she was so afraid, not just of having her baby in the States, but of me jumping out of airplanes, that she pleaded with me to stay in Germany. For all intents and purposes, that sealed my fate. I knew I would retire as a sergeant first class.
I didn't really need another nail in the coffin, but I got one anyway. The Berlin Wall came down and the Soviet Union collapsed. The Army stopped promoting any E-7 Russian linguists. Instead, they put promotion and retention emphasis on Spanish, Chinese, and Arabic linguists. My end-of-career award was to be sent back to Monterey to be a Russian instructor. I was allowed to extend two years past the 20-year mark in order to finish my Master of Arts in Teaching Russian, which led to my current career.
My best accomplishment in the military was as platoon sergeant for an interrogation platoon in Desert Storm. My platoon went, accomplished our mission, had some major intelligence accomplishments, and came home whole. My soldiers respected me and worked hard for me. Of this, I am proud.
I look back on my military career with a strong sense of pride for living a hard life well. It hurts and angers me when people who know nothing of my career question it or impugn it. Anyone who ever wanted to know could just have asked, "Robert, why did you retire as only an E-7?" I don't mind explaining it, but then, they wouldn't be able to speculate, to make assumptions, to insult me, would they?
I'm writing this out and posting it more to get it off my chest. I won't respond to this most recent insult directly. After all, my service was honorable - this insult was not.

Robert's Rules to live by

Here are the guidelines I try to live by:
1. There is a God.
2. There are many paths to God.
3. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
4. Don't be mean.
5. Don't force others to live by your beliefs or values.
6. Try to make the world a better place.
7. Have faith - in your God, yourself, your family and friends, and in life.
8. Be faithful - to your God, your wife/husband, children, friends, and yourself.
9. When in doubt, do what's right. You'll know what it is.
10. Say "I love you" often...and mean it.
11. Learn to say, "I need help," then accept it. Sometimes, the nicest thing you can do is let others help you.

One American Christian's Experience With Islam

Please be patient with this long post. There is no short, bullet-comment way to explain how I feel about the current controversy.



I grew up in Texas. Sometime in grade school or high school, I read about the crusades and I also read a version of "1,001 Arabian Nights." That was my only exposure to Islam and Muslims when I was young. It was so limited, I thought of Islam as sort of a fairy tale or relic of the past. I didn't really come into contact with Muslims until 1981 or 1982 (not sure of the year - sorry, I'm old). My first wife and I took a vacation with friends to Turkey and Greece. Our first stop was a US air base in Adana. It was just a short layover, but we had time to walk off base and get a quick look at this exotic new country. We walked into the town just after dawn, and the first thing we noticed was not the view but the smell - the aroma of fresh-baked unleavened bread was everywhere. We followed our noses to a very small bakery and saw that it wasn't open yet. We banged on the door, hoping the owner would be willing to sell some bread before opening hours, since we had to leave very quickly to catch our plane to Izmir. The owner came out, wiping his floured hands on his apron. In sign language and broken English, he explained that he would get into trouble if he sold anything before opening hours. We were disappointed, but we understood. We turned around and headed back to the base. We'd only gone a few steps when we heard shouting behind us. We stopped and turned - there was the bakery owner running after us, his hands full of hot, fresh, delicious bread. He gave each of us a large, round, flat piece of bread and explained that, while the law said he couldn't SELL it to us, nothing prevented him from GIVING it to us. He would accept nothing but our thanks in return. This was my first direct experience with a Muslim. I can still taste that bread!

At the time, I was young and strong and had dreams of becoming a professional photographer. The next couple of days, in Izmir, I found myself confronted with a great photo op. I put my bag of lenses and other equipment down, then took the picture. It turned out, the entire street became a series of pictures, and I was so focused on taking the shots, I was a full block away before I realized I'd left my camera bag sitting on the sidewalk. It contained over $1,000 of equipment and I rushed back, already convinced it would be gone. Instead, there was a young man standing guard over it, making sure no one would take it. I couldn't believe it! Why would he do such a nice thing? I thanked him and tried to give him some money. He was embarrassed that I was offering him money and assured me that wasn't necessary. I had one more memorable experience before we left Turkey. We were trudging through Istanbul, looking for a particular tourist attraction. We were frustrated because we were pretty sure we were close, but we simply could not find what we were looking for. There was a man carrying a heavy box who saw us looking at the map, so he came over to us and asked where we were trying to go. We pointed at the map and he said, "I take you." He put his package on the sidewalk, up against the wall, and motioned for us to follow him. It turned out that we were completely lost. He wound up being our guide, showing us points of interest along the way, and taking us nearly 5 miles from where he'd left his package. Again, no money - he seemed genuinely pleased to help us. For these reasons and more - food and history and museums and exotic sights and sounds - Turkey is still one of my all-time favorite vacation memories.

As a Russian linguist in the army, my primary focus was the Cold War and the Soviet Union. The only "contact" I had for many of those years was when I was monitoring the Soviet disaster in Afghanistan. Back then, the freedom fighters were heroes. I couldn't help admiring how fiercely they fought, even though they were outmanned and outgunned.

My next major experience with Muslims was in the Persian Gulf War. I still call it Desert Storm. I was a platoon sergeant for an interrogation platoon. Since we were out of Germany and our focus was the Soviet Union, I had German, Russian, Czech, and Polish linguists, but not a single speaker of Arabic. In order to accomplish our mission, we would need interpreters. They appeared in the form of 20 Kuwaitis, all fluent in English and Arabic, all volunteers who wanted to do their part to liberate their country from Saddam Hussein. At first, my company commander had discipline problems with them, and he eventually turned them over to me. "They're part of your platoon now. I want them to show up for formation on time and I want them in uniform." These were things he hadn't been able to get them to do. I went to their leader (This was an odd thing in itself - their leader was not the highest ranking guy; in fact, he wasn't even an officer. I'm not sure to this day how he was selected. I suspect they decided he was the leader because, well, he acted like the leader.). Anyway, I went to him, all business, ready to tell him and his men what to do. He listened for a while, then he said, "Come have tea." I was confused. It was as if I had said nothing to him. I turned to my assistant platoon sergeant, told him what needed to be done while I was gone, then followed the Kuwaiti to his tent. His "headquarters" was a US Army GP small tent. It's circular and usually sleeps a maximum of 8 personnel. He raised the flap and motioned me to go in. I stepped into a different world. There were beautiful Middle Eastern rugs on the ground, a circular table in the middle with a nice place setting, a water pipe to one side, and even tapestries hanging on the sides of the tent. I had to look up at the olive drab canvas ceiling to know that I was in the same GP small tent I'd seen on the outside. I was led to a large silk pillow next to the table. The leader and I sat down and the other Kuwaitis came in and out, serving us tea, fresh vegetables (where did they get those?), and various Middle Eastern dishes. I hadn't had a hot, home-cooked meal in over 30 days, so for a while I forgot that I was there on business, and just ate. The Kuwaiti talked about his family, about his men, a little about liberating Kuwait, and I just listened and chewed. Finally, he looked at me and said, "Mr. Sergeant, tell me what it is you need." I told him I needed his help, that my commander wanted his men to be in formation every morning, wearing proper uniforms. "I am honored that you have come to my table. My men and I will do as you have asked." And it was that simple. We never had a problem again. It turned out they would do nothing we told them to do, but anything we asked.

Since that time, I have been in two other Muslim countries for extended periods of time - Tajikistan and Egypt. My students in Tajikistan were from the National Guard, and after I'd been teaching them for a while, their commander decided it would be nice if I saw something outside the capital of Dushanbe. Two of his young officers were designated to be my guides and companions on a trip to an old Soviet-style resort in the mountains. We drove on barely passable roads in a decrepit Toyota sedan along the Varzob River and into the mountains. It was early summer, but the peaks surrounding the city are so high, they are snow-capped year round. Once we left the city, it was as if we'd taken a time machine. The primary means of transportation were donkeys or just plain old walking. The roads were dirt and the villages were clearly very poor. But there were children running and playing, sometimes working. I could have been on a National Geographic expedition. My two student/officer/guide friends had brought roast meat, spicy pickled vegetables, and fresh unleavened bread to eat on the way. Once at the resort, we got the full treatment, including a "water massage." This was an interesting bit of therapy. You basically strip naked, then hang on to a rail on the wall while a "masseuse" sprays you with a fire hose pumping radioactive water from the natural hot springs at the resort. I wasn't prepared for the force of the water, so I was knocked to the ground. I hurt my hand, but didn't find out until I got back to the States that I'd suffered a hairline fracture. After our treatments, we had a picnic in a covered pavilion, complete with roast chicken, fresh vegetables, and fresh fruit. Afterwards, we took a mandatory nap during the hottest part of the day (although it wasn't that hot because of the altitude). Then we went back to Dushanbe. It was all so friendly and interesting and fun, I didn't think much about why I needed two escorts for the trip. Well, in some ways, Tajikistan is like the old Wild West. There are bandits and few police once you leave the city. These young men were also my bodyguards. I have no doubt they would have given their lives without a thought if it became necessary. And in this mostly impoverished country, I was the rich American. I typically spent in a day more than most of them make in a month. But on this trip, I COULD SPEND NOTHING! They were nearly ashamed when I asked, or if I tried to pay for anything. It simply wasn't about money.

In Egypt, I was fortunate enough to be met by and spend time with men who had been my students in San Antonio. One of them escorted me to the Khan el Khalili Bazaar. If I'd gone by myself, I would have been accosted with every step by hawkers of everything from water pipes to knives to souvenirs. They would have swarmed like gnats, making me so miserable, I'm sure I would have left without buying anything. I watched several Western tourists suffer this fate. But my friend was a tall, imposing Egyptian officer. He ran the hawkers off with a few authoritative words or harsh looks, and we walked in peace through the bazaar. He guided me directly to the shops that specialized in those things I wanted to buy, then made sure we paid the Egyptian price and not the tourist price. There are several mosques in and near Khan el Khalili, so when the call to prayer sounded, he asked me to go with him into a truly ancient mosque. He took me to a bench and told me to sit there until the service was over, assuring me that it wouldn't take very long. As I watched, an imam led a service during which the men responded in unison in a very reverent service. I found myself admiring the way they bowed, not just at the waist, but going all the way to the ground and pressing their head to the floor in complete obeisance to God. It was a spiritual, reverent ceremony and I have no doubt God was there.

In Egypt, I had a chance to spend time with Mohammed and Samy, both former students and now English teachers. Mohammed invited us (my fellow teachers came, too) to his home. We met his brother, his sister, a female friend of his, and his parents. For one evening, we were not really guests - we were part of his family. His mother was constantly busy, instantly replacing every bite of food removed from our plates before we were finished chewing. There was lamb, beef, duck, chicken, and more fruits and vegetables than you could count or eat. It was a joyful occasion. We were all so happy and animated, the corners of my mouth were sore after dinner from smiling so much. It's one of the great dinner parties of my life and I will never forget it.

Samy (yes, I know you're out there, Samy, so don't get a big head over this) is just a funny guy. His English is superior, he's a polished teacher, but he greets the world with a joke and a smile. He and his friend loved to play tricks on the locals when they were in San Antonio, and now I had the pleasure of seeing him on his home turf. Still funny, still happy, but a capable and serious officer and educator when it was time to be. He grew in my eyes because now I saw Samy the professional and I can say I was impressed. Another highlight of my time in Egypt was when he invited us to his wedding. We went to one of the most spectacular mosques in Cairo and watched this momentous occasion unfold. This was not just a wedding of two people - this was the joining of two extended families and all their friends. The ceremony itself was short and solemn and when it was over there was this huge, joyful, chaotic mingling of all the guests. We were all so glad to have been there. Samy, I see you are still happily married to your wonderful wife, and I wish you continued joy.

I cannot talk about this topic without talking about Bahiq. He was my driver in Cairo. Our lives were literally in his hands every day. He guided us skillfully, safely, even intuitively, through the chaos that is traffic in Cairo. Our weekends were on Friday and Saturday, but mostly we tried to leave him a day for religious services and family on Friday. He became our great guide and friend. He was our defender at the pyramids and in Alexandria. But mostly, there was this great Bahiq smile, this truly honorable man, dedicated to his faith, his country, and his family. When I think of Gayle Sayer's book, "I Am Third," Bahiq is the person I see who lives up to that title. His life seems to be a great challenge, but he works hard all the time, doing whatever he can to make a good life for his family. He is one of the finest human beings I've ever met. Bahiq, I know you're on facebook, too, and I send my love to you and your family.

I am an educated person. I know that every major religion has leaders and followers who have preached messages of peace and love. And every one of those religions has had leaders and followers who took a path of hate and violence. I refuse to judge all Muslims by the hateful, evil acts of al Qaeda. I know that Samy, Mohammed, Bahiq, and all the other people I've mentioned had nothing to do with the attacks on September 11th. They would give anything to undo the damage done by those extremists. If these men somehow moved to New York City, or if they went there as tourists, I would want them to have a nice place to practice their faith.

I have written this with a heavy heart. I am sorry for the way Americans have responded to the building of the Islamic cultural center in Manhattan. They talk about the builders being insensitive, as if that's enough to justify their intolerance. Americans would do well to go meet good men and women of the Islamic faith. There are so many of them. It's an unfortunate sign of the times that the bad guys get all the attention. So to my fellow Christians, I ask you to go to church, or get on your knees at home, and pray about this. Think about Christ's message of love, understanding, and forgiveness. We can do this.

To my Muslim friends, I am sorry. Don't go by the media's focus on the anger and intolerance so many Americans are expressing. I truly believe it will pass. Please have faith and patience.

"Gourmet" cooking

So I go to the trouble of getting all fresh ingredients: eggplant, shitake mushrooms, red Cambodian peppers, onions; saute them all in extra virgin olive oil, then add tomato sauce (my one concession - canned). When it's almost ready, I boil the tricolor pasta just past al dente, then sit down for a really good, very healthy meal. Now for the rest of the story. I made enough for 4 people, so I glop the sauce into the pasta pot and stick the whole mess into the refrigerator. Next evening, I add water and heat the stuff up. Why, oh why, would the second day leftovers taste better than the fresh, first day serving? In what universe does this make sense?

Are we a Christian nation?

I’ll address this question on three points: the Constitution, the words of Christ, and common sense. In the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that I consider myself a follower of Christ (thanks, Anne Rice). I’m going to start by making a point about the 2nd Amendment, specifically: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed…” Most “conservatives” interpret that to mean that US citizens have the right to have guns and that right cannot be taken away. I’m a liberal, so I personally think those words can be interpreted to mean something different, something that would allow the government to restrict and limit gun ownership. But you know what? My opinion is irrelevant. We have someone whose job it is to interpret the Constitution – the Supreme Court. They have ruled over and over again that this part of the Constitution guarantees us the right to keep and bear arms. Period. Case closed. Ok, I get it. If you want guns, go out and buy them. I’m not fighting that battle anymore because it’s been fought over and over again. The results are always the same, so you win. Now you might ask, “What the heck does this have to do with our being a Christian nation?” Well, this brings me to the 1st Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…” Pretty much the same people who tout the Constitution and the Supreme Court’s interpretation of the 2nd Amendment want us to ignore the 1st Amendment and the Supreme Court’s interpretation. They want to pray on school grounds; they want to display symbols of their religion on government property; they want to do away with the separation of church and state. They say it’s their opinion that this amendment could be interpreted differently. Well, just as my opinion about the 2nd Amendment is irrelevant, so is theirs about the first. The Supreme Court has ruled over and over again that this part of the Constitution strictly states that there is a separation. If government funds paid for it, you don’t get to express your faith there – not Christian, not Hindu, not Muslim, not Rastafarian. The Constitution bars us from being legally recognized as a Christian nation. Period. Case closed. Don’t fight this battle anymore because it’s been fought over and over again. The results are always the same, so you lose. I have one more comment about the Constitution. If we decided to rewrite the Constitution and got a fair distribution of Americans – all beliefs, all walks of life, all regions – I believe they’d finally agree that we should have the right to keep and bear arms. I also firmly believe they’d retain the separation of church and state. See, our forefathers did have these discussions. There were some among them who strongly wanted a formal recognition of Christianity enshrined in our government. Well, they lost that argument when the Constitution was written, and they would lose it again. My second point goes to Christ’s own words. When He said, “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s,” I believe he was telling us that He was not connected to the government and what it did or stood for. There were other times when He disassociated Himself from the state and I truly believe that is what He would do if He were here today. So if Christ Himself wouldn’t seek government sanction or approval, why do you seek it for Him? Let government do what it does, and let Christians do what Christians do. If they were separate functions for Christ, why not let that be good enough for you? By the way, I’m perfectly aware that modern revisionists are “reinterpreting” Christ’s words and deeds so that they don’t “really mean that.” Stop it. If you want to lay claim to the title of “conservative,” then don’t be radical on this point. Accept the traditional, conservative interpretation and get over this. We don’t need government locations or functions to profess our faith. I realize that nothing requires any of us to apply common sense, but I think most of you, if you’ll just think about it for a minute, will admit I’m right. Barack Obama does not have the legal or moral authority to declare that we are NOT a Christian nation. George W. Bush did not have the legal or moral authority to declare that we ARE a Christian nation. Presidential pronouncements simply have nothing to do with it. We either are a Christian nation or we aren’t. We can only own that label through our behavior, and I’m not so sure we earn it. In other words, friends, we have to BE a Christian nation. Good luck with that. Are we a Christian nation? I could cite evidentiary examples for both “yes” and “no” arguments, which tells me the jury’s still out.

Accomplishments at 60

When I was a senior in high school (1968), I made a list of goals. First, I wanted to graduate from college. Second, I wanted to see the world. Third, I wanted a home and family. And fourth, I wanted to make $20,000.
Let's address the last first. Adjusted for inflation, I'd have to make about $100k to make the equivalent of 20k in 1968. I did make that when I was in Japan, but I don't now. Still, I make enough to achieve the other goals.
I graduated from Eastern New Mexico University with honors in English. Since I was the first kid in my large family to accomplish this, my mother drove from Houston all the way across Texas with fresh Gulf shrimp on ice in the back and my little sister and a niece up front with her. It took me seven years, but I had no debt and never needed help from my mother to pay for my studies. Then quite a few years later, I finished my MA in Teaching Foreign Language (with distinction) at Monterey Institute of International Studies, with a Certificate to Teach English to Speakers of Other Languages thrown in. So I exceeded my educational goals by quite a bit.
I have been to 24 foreign countries, many of them for extended periods, not just on vacation, but on job assignments. The army sent me to Germany for 10 years, and my Department of Defense job sent me to Japan for 5 years. I've spent extended periods of time (a month or more) in France, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Taiwan, Latvia, Tajikistan, Germany, the Netherlands, and Egypt. I've spent more than a month in Massachusetts, California, Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, and Colorado. I've seen more countries than I dreamed I would, but I still have some travel goals: I want to see sub-Saharan Africa while there are still wild animals; I want to see Alaska and Hawaii; I'd like to see mainland China.
As successful as I've been in other areas, I've been luckiest of all with my family. Vera has been the perfect wife for me - educated, sensitive, artistic, loving, faithful, but also strict and demanding when she needed to be. I have now spent 22 years with my soul mate, and for that I am deeply grateful. We also have three sons, all smart and talented young men with good hearts. My biggest remaining mission is to see them graduate from college. After that, I want to play with some grandchildren!
Overall, I have to be really happy with my life. Dr. Stephen Covey (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People) calls this "Begin with the end in mind." Vera took his training seminar before I did, and she came back immediately from the workshop and said, "You do this!" I guess that' s true, and maybe it's the main reason I've managed to achieve my goals. That, and we've always been blessed - Someone has been watching over us.

0 to 60 - Finances

I don't know how I managed it, but I'm getting into my 60's fairly healthy financially. It wasn't actually a result of good planning, or any planning at all. But I have and will always have my military retirement of about 20K a year, plus a smaller federal retirement when I'm 65, plus Social Security, plus I think my 401k will be around 200K by then. My house will be paid off before I'm 65, so I'll have a couple of years to feed money into my wife's 401k. So far, except for the government student loans my kids have and will pay back, we've managed to pay as we went for Misha and Gabriel. I'll buy another Prius before I retire and will try to have it paid off, too. All of this is geared to an actual retirement when I'm 67 so I'll get max Social Security. So it looks like we're gonna be ok.