But why retire, Robert?

Because I'm tired. Yes, I have a teaching job that doesn't take that much out of me. If I had to, I could probably go on teaching for at least 5 years, but...I'm tired. Time to take it easy, do some things just for me. I'm SLOWLY decorating my meditation room, a place to retreat from time to time. Pale green walls, symbols of nature and peace. No electronics. I'm considering blocking out heat and air conditioning, too. As little machine made as possible, but I will have a lamp and a futon couch/bed.
I was thinking about different mes this week. I was a different person in different parts of my life. One place in particular came to mind. I was in New Mexico from 1972 to 1975, and I was actually two people at once. There was Air Force Robert, who was not a very good electronics technician and wasn't really comfortable in the Air Force. My friends at Cannon AFB knew that Robert earlier in those years, but I slowly became immersed in my other persona, Smitty, who was a student at Eastern New Mexico University. Since I worked nights for the Air Force, I was able to go to school during the day. Some people in that world didn't even know I was an airman. This was an important time for me - I finally found myself as a student. I loved every English class I took, lost myself in Shakespeare, Hemingway, Twain, Faulkner, Milton. It all MEANT something to me. It helped me make sense of the world.
And who is left from those worlds? Oh, I remember my Air Force friends. I do know one of them owns a ranch in New Mexico and I did visit him once since I left. But really, it would take quite a bit of time to track any of those guys down. My friends at ENMU were more intimate, but one friend became a true, lifelong friend. I remember first seeing Jan in the basement cafeteria in the Student Union Center. She was this perfect blonde walking across the room and I was mesmerized. I didn't lust after her - never did. I just wanted to know her, to be her friend. I didn't think that would ever happen, but I was in theater (yeah, that's right - classes, work, AND theater) and we had mutual friends and finally got to know each other. I learned a lot from Jan. I learned that a beautiful woman could be my friend without being a lover. We never tried to be more than friends because we didn't need to. Jan is in California and we are friends on Facebook. I hope I can take a retirement road trip to see her again. Maybe we could meet back in New Mexico.
So college Smitty overshadowed Air Force Robert, and that was a good thing. They left New Mexico when I graduated from ENMU in May and received my Honorable Discharge in August. They're both part of who I am now. Life is good.