American Theocracy

American theocracy – A humble proposal
Evangelicals have finally convinced me that our founding fathers never really intended a strict separation of church and state. The more I think about it, the more I become convinced that the United States would be much better off if it were a theocracy. If nothing else, we could end interfaith rivalries that have contributed to the divisiveness that’s been tearing our country apart for the last decade. The problem, of course, is choosing which religion should be given the responsibility of sharing power with the federal government.
The Catholic Church must be considered first, since it is the largest single denomination in the United States. It does have experience in theocratic rule from the days of the Holy Roman Empire. It has considerable military experience dating all the way back to the Crusades. Even when not part of a theocracy, the Catholic Church has been used to wielding considerable power far beyond the rolls of its membership. The Catholic Church also has a great deal of wealth it brings to the table, as well as a widespread and influential membership. Unfortunately, it must be rejected, since the highest authority, the Pope, is not a U.S. citizen, nor even located within the country. Add to that all the sex scandals involving priests and the church’s long history of antipathy toward other religions, and it becomes patently clear that an American Catholic theocracy would be neither viable nor desirable.
A mainstream Protestant church would seem like a good choice, but Protestants are split down the middle between ecumenical and evangelical Christians. Even if they weren’t, the power struggles among Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, Pentecostals, Episcopalians, Lutherans, and various offshoots like Christian Scientists and Jehovah’s Witnesses would disqualify them. They’re just too fractured to be a coherent national governing force.
Eastern and New Age religions, while attractive, are simply too unfamiliar to most Americans. They lack the large membership and financial support to be a true partner in governing the country. The moral codes they embrace are not well defined, and often incompatibly diverse. And while Islam has its merits, it would simply be impossible to overcome anti-Muslim sentiment in the U.S.
So if we want to have a theocracy, we need a well-established religion, preferably Christian in doctrine, with a stable membership, financial resources, and ideally one with theocratic experience. Fortunately, there is such a church in our country, and a uniquely American church at that – the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints, better known to most people as the Mormons. Let me state immediately that I am not now nor have I ever been a member of this church. I’ve investigated this issue from an objective and practical perspective and truly believe that it would be in the best interests of the United States for the government and the Mormon Church to work together in ruling our country. Before rejecting this proposal, I hope the reader will allow me to present the case point by point.
The Mormons have a great reputation for being fiscally responsible. At the individual and family levels, they consistently have higher income levels than members of other churches. The church itself has a considerable amount of property and other forms of wealth. They already have a flat tax system of 10%, something quite a few U.S. citizens have wanted for quite some time. Since the church itself is fiscally conservative, I have no doubt they'd apply the same reasonable controls on the government.
The Mormon Church also has military experience, having formed its own militias when their church controlled the Utah territory. They were so well organized and armed, they were ready, willing, and able to take on the U.S. Army, if it became necessary. They have the Mountain Meadows Massacre to prove they're perfectly comfortable with the concept of pre-emptive strike. They have admitted it was a mistake and have accepted responsibility for it, which is something our secular government could mimic. In terms of homeland security, their screening process for prospective members could also serve to identify potential threats. Another interesting requirement they have is to keep a one-year food supply in case of emergency or Armaggedon or similar disastrous breakdowns of society. This could also be used in a recession, thus reducing the demand on social welfare systems.
They have a great welfare system. First, every member (so in a theocracy, every citizen) must fast 2 meals a month on the first Sunday of every month. The money that would have been spent on those meals is instead given to the Bishop's Storehouse. When someone's down on their luck, they can get food and other necessities, and sometimes even cash for rent and other bills, with the understanding that they will pay it back when they can or they can farm on the church kibbutz or perform other acts of community service. So the welfare system is actually more like workfare. The church also has training centers and employment centers where members can take seminars for writing a resume, dressing for success, and find jobs. In other words, they believe in teaching people how to fish for a lifetime, instead of giving them fish for a day.
LDS also has a great deal of international experience through their mission work. They boast some of the best linguists in the country. So any young Mormon who has finished his or her missionary work can just stay in the foreign country and transfer to the State Department. Since so many of them have been to and lived in foreign countries, their awareness of other cultures and customs could only enhance our image abroad.
I'm sure some of you will say you don't agree with some of the beliefs of the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints. But that's fine - the Mormons, who have a long and terrible history of being discriminated against themselves, are one of the most tolerant religions in the country. Citizens should feel free to practice any faith they feel comfortable with. Of course, as with any theocracy, members of the official religion would have certain advantages. That's only fair.
I willingly admit that there's still a certain amount of sexism in the church, and even some repressed racism, but that's a perfect reflection of our society anyway. They're certainly no worse in that respect than the population at large.
I just can't see any flaws in this proposal. How about this for the new name of our country - The United States of Jesus Christ of the Latter-day Saints. Has a nice ring to it.